Photography courtesy Melissa Sweet.

Choosing a dress is the fun part and the slightly stress-inducing part. As a girl I dreamt of my wedding day. I had the best of both worlds growing up on a farm outside of Belleville and spending summers and weekends with my dad in Toronto. I leaned more towards the city life back then and probably thought a wedding at the top of one of the many lavish hotels would have been fabulous. In my early and some what jaded twenties I rejected the idea of marriage altogether, spouting off about how it’s just a piece of paper blah blah blah and so the dreams faded but now that I’ve found my lobster (who by the way mate for life) and have felt healthy in love, this very down to earth idea of what marriage is and what this day means for us has emerged.

When I think of the overall feel or theme, it’s romantic and relaxed. It’s bright and charming with sap buckets filled with wild flowers from the farm, vintage table cloths and milk glass centrepieces. Tyler is pretty indifferent thank goodness, but I don’t make any decisions without knowing he likes the idea too. We want to surround ourselves with things that are relevant to us and that make us feel good. And so, the dress too has to actually feel like me.  There are some pretty incredible gowns out there but I’m not connecting to many of them. If I found something I liked and it was $75 I’d be over the moon. The problem is, I’ve seen the one, and thanks to my dad I have expensive taste but thanks to mum I can be grossly practical, so basically I’m a basketcase talking myself in and out of expensive purchases. 

The dress I’ve fallen for is a quarter of our entire wedding budget! What is a gal to do? It’s only one day but I’m only ever going to do this once. The dress is the glue and I’d rather be using super adhesive Krazy over the gummy white stuff I used to eat in Grade 3 that barely adhered paper to paper. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on the dress? Does anyone else feel this way? And what if I commit to early? We still have 11 months ahead!

{Delphine Manivet}

And breathe. Okay, so apparently I’ve been feeling a little anxiety on this issue. The fact remains that whatever frock I don on the day is sure to be lovely. I think the key here is choose something I feel good in. We are always going to have regrets, one of my favourite outfits in Grade 9 was purple dress pants with a bright orange top and then my grunge phase hit, a brown plaid button down for six weeks straight — thanks Eddie Vedder. I can’t change those wardrobe mishaps but rather learn from them and next time I feel like being adventurous I’ll do it on laundry day and not on the day I say “I do.”

A song to get all those 90′s, flannel wearin’ kids up on the dance floor. Click here!

Included are a few of my favourite designers.

{Sarah Seven}

]]> http://www.weddingbells.ca/blogs/advice/coriander-girl/2010/09/30/the-dress/feed/ 1 http://www.weddingbells.ca/blogs/advice/coriander-girl/2010/09/23/healthy-bride/ http://www.weddingbells.ca/blogs/advice/coriander-girl/2010/09/23/healthy-bride/#comments Thu, 23 Sep 2010 14:09:44 +0000 Alison Westlake http://www.weddingbells.ca/blogs/?p=12499 Tyler and I have been growing (this was a happy accident typo) through a lot...]]>

Tyler and I have been growing (this was a happy accident typo) through a lot lately. We just purchased our first home and are commuting between Toronto and Belleville, working our little butts off Friday through Sunday in the city and then we pack up and head home for the rest of the week. We’re striving for a life in balance. Owning a flower shop has proven to be the hardest work of my life and I feel now more than ever as I spend the year ahead planning our wedding, it’s time to work just as hard on creating a healthy, balanced life. I want to walk down the aisle towards Tyler as a healthy, rested, nourished and joyful woman.

Weddings can be stressful. I’ve had a first hand look at just how stressful they can be dealing with brides on a daily basis. I want to minimize the stress of planning a wedding as much as possible. I’d say the first thing we need to do to make life easier on ourselves is learn how to delegate. We might prefer to do it all on our own but life will certainly be easier if we can learn to let go. This is probably my biggest problem but I’m learning. Here at Coriander Girl I just hired my first employee. I never thought I’d be able to let go enough to have someone else come in. Now that I’ve done it and trusted someone else’s ability to make beautiful things, I feel a crushing weight has been lifted. I know this will happen in the planning of our wedding also. My job now is to enlist those who know and love me to help bring our vision to life. Are you able to let go?

The earlier we secure our vendors, the better of course. So, I will be setting up meetings with caterers, photographers, florists, and DJ’s as soon as we figure out how many guests we’re having. As a florist, I highly recommend booking this service as early as you can. Be prepared for substitutions on last minute orders. Some florists are so busy and might have to turn you away if they’ve already booked a few weddings on your day. And finally, this year as you plan your wedding remind yourself what it’s all about. It’s about love. Even if you offered your guests hot dogs and twinkies they should still love you — they might just have to stop for take out on the way home!
A slow song we love. First dance maybe? Click here.
Alison xo

So…we’re engaged! Now what? Every site I visit for newly engaged brides, and surprisingly I frequent them far more than I had thought I would, starts with “How to get started” and “What to do next.” As much as I like a good list of ‘to do’s’ I seem to reject them like a rebellious teenager when they’re imposed. Like I’m a bad ‘bride to be’ if I don’t do everything on “Martha’s” list. I’m not putting Martha Stewart down, in fact, she is a God in my mind and on my list of people I would love to have coffee with before I die. I wish I had the time to do half of what she and her team do but honestly, I can barely keep up with her daily e-mails I subscribed to last month. I thought I had it all figured out but ‘bohemian centrepieces’ and ‘flavourful favours’ are beginning to overwhelm me! Am I dropping the wedding ‘bell’ this early in the game?

If you read my first blog post, you know that I own a flower shop called Coriander Girl and you’d also know that my fiancé and I just bought a house and you might also know that the shop turned one on September 2nd and I just hired my very first employee and… yes there is more, I just starting blogging for Weddingbells! Maybe I should go easier on myself?

Maybe all of us getting married in the coming year need to take a giant deep breath and then relax a little. If you’re feeling the pressure, it’s because it’s out there. I love researching ideas for our wedding, in fact it’s become a bit of an addiction and I want it all. Some of my favourite wedding sites include, Style Me Pretty, Once Wed, Green Wedding Shoes, Martha Stewart Weddings and Weddingbells of course. Every wedding that’s posted is more and more beautiful than the next. The bar has been raised my friends, the stakes feel higher, the expectations of our guests are greater. But, if I can lend any advice at this point in my blathering, it’s that none of it will matter or be worth it if in the end you are so stressed out by the process that you can’t even enjoy the mojitos. I want to enjoy this journey and I know my man wants to as well. I’m not suggesting we back away from the wedding sites but I’m encouraging you to figure out what will suit you and your partner best, not how to duplicate a wedding with things that have absolutely no relevance to you. Make it personal and it will be meaningful. Bohemian centrepieces are awesome if you dig that sort of thing but if you don’t, put down the glue gun and crushed velvet and opt for something that resonates with you and your own personal style.

Where am I starting? Well, I’m doing what most sites are suggesting, making the announcements and confirming our guest list. Oh the guest list, this is a whole other blog post. Tyler and I are new homeowners this week and so along with planning our wedding we’re slowly renovating a heritage townhouse. The shop is surprisingly busy with weddings still (I swear there is never a dull moment around here). I need to dance, as it’s the best way to let off a little steam! Here’s a song for you to shake it to, and hey, it might end up being on your wedding playlist! Click here.
Alison xo

Tyler and I walking up the stairs to our new home just after getting the keys last week. Photo by Penny Hogan (Tyler’s mama).

Photography Gabor Jurina.

Advice is a funny thing, like etiquette, it evolves over time and something that seems standard one day sounds silly the next. Obviously there are many reasons why advice becomes outdated, whether that’s from new findings, changes in social behaviours or current trends. When it came to looking at advice Weddingbells gave its readers during the past 25 years, what we discovered was surprising! 

While not everything we found made sense for today’s bride, a lot still did. In our first ever issue (Spring & Summer 1986), when it came to planning this is what we had to say, “Planning the wedding reception is a formidable undertaking. It is probably the biggest event you have ever organized. Start early, so as to have the best choice of goods and services. Make a plan and stick to it.” pg. 152.

About seven years later in our Fall & Winter 1993 issue we offered advice for a stress-free wedding. “Even if you’ve personally seen to every tiny detail in the planning of your wedding, make an effort to let go a bit on your wedding day….Consciously choose to stop and savour special moments as you prepare for your wedding…Putting your best foot forward is most important when something goes wrong first thing in the morning. Choose to laugh it off and you will certainly set the mood for a day of joy and celebration.” pg. 34.

The funny this is, weddings haven’t changed that much. Yes, you probably aren’t wearing a dress with big sleeves or holding a cascading bouquet down the aisle, but the fundamentals have remained the same. What kind of advice have you received since you’ve started planning? See what other advice has endured over time in our 25th anniversary section.

The Riu Palace Tropical Bay, Negril, Jamaica.

This morning, I received an email from our travel agent that had me literally shaking in my boots—some people sweat profusely when they’re nervous, but me, I just get the shakes. It said “Please call me ASAP.  I have a very urgent matter to discuss with you regarding your wedding in Jamaica in May.”  Gulp. Call ASAP?  Gulp. Urgent matter?!  I couldn’t even begin to mentally prepare for what he was going to say, so I begged my wonderful fiancé to make the call. And I waited. Intense nail biting ensued.

Then, the call.  “Babe, it’s not good.  Signature Vacations has dropped Jamaica from their spring/summer schedule.  Our trip has been cancelled.”

As I write this, we are two and a half months away from our wedding date, and now there’s the possibility that we might not make it there.  Of course, we can scramble and try to find a different carrier, but the reason we’d decided to go with Signature in the first place was because they were the only group carrier offering EVERYTHING we wanted—direct flight from Vancouver to Jamaica, staying at (in our opinion) the most beautiful resort in Negril, a reasonable group rate for all of our guests, and amazing perks for group travellers.  In short, we chose Signature over all the other carriers because the package they put together for us was perfect. Now, it looks like we’re back to square one in the planning department.

For those of you who are not planning a destination wedding, please let me put this in perspective for you:  this predicament I’m in is the equivalent of your wedding venue suddenly and unexpectedly being closed for renovations two and a half months before your wedding.  Do you think you’ll be able to find a different venue, in which to hold the most important day of your life, on such short notice?  It’ll be hard, sure. But by golly, you’ll (I’ll) do it!

Hope we make it here!

You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that like the course of true love, the road to your dream wedding never did run smooth, either!  And at the end of the day, who really cares where we get married, right?  I’d marry Karlo tomorrow, in our backyard (if we had a backyard, that is), wearing a garbage bag and a plastic ring if I had to. The details are just secondary… it’s the rest of our lives that I’m really looking forward to, not just the one day.

In any case, I hope that by my next post I’ll have some better news to relay to you.  Keep in mind that these posts are written two weeks in advance, so as you sit and read this, I could very well already be dying to tell you the good news!  We’ll just have to wait and see where this journey takes us next…

Before I go, do any of you have a nice relaxation technique you can recommend?  I think I’m going to need it! Ha!

The fields at Bleu Lavande.

Did you know lavender is a great stress reliever? When used as an aromatherapy treatment, studies have shown it greatly reduces stress. While there are other scents that provide calming effects, this one is a favourite of mine. It’s also great for helping you get to sleep! I recently discovered a Canadian company called Bleu Lavande. Located in Quebec, visitors can actually stroll through the fields of purple, which actually are home to over 200,000 plants. They also boast being the first and only Canadian true lavender producer with international certification. As well, all of their products are made with 100% pure lavender essential oil, with no parabens, fragrance or petroleum-based ingredients.

One of my favourite products is the Linen Water. Another benefit of lavender: it drives off mites and doesn’t stain, which is great for your clothing, matress, sheets, curtains or even carpets. I suggest spraying in on your bed to help you drift off to sleep.

If you aren’t able to make a trip to the fields, you can shop online where they offer free shipping within Canada on orders over $40 (before taxes).

Did you ever journal when you were a kid? I remember I had a pink little diary with a lock. But to be honest I haven’t picked up a pen and wrote down my thoughts since then. It wasn’t until I came upon Simple Diary, by TASCHEN that I was seriously reconsidering journaling again. The mole-skin diary comes in six vibrant colours with a ribbon bookmark. Unlike your standard date, lined paper styled journal, artist and writer Philipp Keel developed Simple Diary as a response to having too much information without meaning surround him. The actual pages are probably unlike any diary pages you’ve ever seen. Cute questions, fill in the blanks and inspiring quotes, make up each daily entry. If you’re totally overwhelmed with your wedding planning, try this way of journaling to bring back some sanity to your day-to-day life. Keel has celeb fans too including Cameron Diaz, Beyoncé, Dustin Hoffman, and Steven Spielberg.

A sample page from Simple Diary

A: That’s one situation that no bride looks forward to—the mother-in-law-zilla! (OK, so I just made that word up.) In an ideal world, we all get along with our in-laws and planning is a breeze. But if what you’re going through is as stressful as it seems, you’re going to have to take some time, sit her aside (to avoid any embarrassment) and just lay it all on the line. Although this probably seems like a dreadful task, it doesn’t have to be. You can bond with her; tell her that you love what she’s done so far and that you couldn’t imagine planning without her. But remind her it’s your fiancé and you who are bearing the brunt of her mothering and you don’t need the added stress. Give her tasks that may seem important to her but aren’t really your priority. She’ll still feel she has some planning power but she’ll be out of your hair.