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The Backup Plans’ Call to Action
Through talking to many brides post-wedding, it really hit me how important it is, no matter how big or small the task, to have a backup plan. I’ve heard countless times that something will undoubtedly go wrong, no matter how much attention to detail is paid—but I also know that whatever happens, we’ll still end up laughing about it (eventually!), and it’ll make for a great story. Hopefully!
I didn’t realize that the idea would be put to the test so soon: since the last time I wrote, the retailer of my unfinished dress went out of business; the veil I’d ordered (that looked so lovely on the internet) arrived—stiff, cheap-looking and larger than life; all my bridesmaids dropped out of the wedding party, along with our reception MC, and we realized our reception tables were smaller than anticipated—leaving us 12 centrepieces short! So, what did we do? Started working on Plan B!
The Dress
It’s not often I’ll consider myself lucky to public transit every day, but in this instance, it really worked in my favour. My route home from work includes a trip past the store where I’d bought my dress—which now has “For Lease” signs all over it. David and I had been watching an awful lot of Say Yes to the Dress recently (don’t tell anyone!), and I’d been questioning my dress more and more—it was cheap, it was off the rack, and it was grubby from handling and missing a significant amount of beading. He told me he wanted me to really love my dress, “like they do on the show!” and that I should take this opportunity to go look at some other ones. So I humoured him. And found my dream dress! It’s infinitely more beautiful, more flattering, and completely different from anything I would’ve imagined picking—but I am in LOVE with it. And I even got $100 off because the saleslady liked me!
Aarno and David
The MC
The friend we’d asked to MC during our reception is in the professional acting industry—and could potentially be called for a part any time. I’d never want to make her miss out on a big opportunity, and she didn’t want to risk letting us down, either. Luckily, we had a number of other options—David decided on asking his best man—a really great friend, who knows both of us well, and who’ll do an awesome job on the night.
The Centrepieces
When I realized we needed to double our order, I must admit I panicked a little—I’d ordered our original centrepieces from eBay, and wasn’t sure the online store would even still exist! But after much searching, we found it, and were able to order enough to make every table shine. Along with about 200 votives and holders (and one sore back) that ended up being cheaper than the dollar store—the Internet is a wonderful place!
The Veil
Let me rephrase: The Internet is mostly a wonderful place. I guess with the amount I’ve 
ordered online for the wedding, one thing was bound to be less than perfect—and though the veil arrived comically hideous; stiff, bulky, and larger than Lady Gaga’s viewer count on YouTube, at least I was only out $20! Now I have the chance to spend some time looking for one in person, that I can touch and try on—one that’ll match my new dress perfectly. An added bonus: I can use the tulle in my nerdy cake topper project—which I promise will be shared next post!
The Bridesmaids
Unfortunately, there was recently a bit of a “situation.” Let’s just say that when times are tough, you really find out who your true friends are—and though surprising and disappointing, I think I was lucky to find out now, rather than a week before the wedding. This also made me realize the importance of the people who are going to be there for the long haul: I’m incredibly blessed to be marrying into the nicest family anyone could ever wish for, and David’s sisters are wonderful ladies—and are rapidly becoming wonderful friends. I asked them if they would do us both the honour of being bridesmaids, and I’m thrilled they said yes! I’ll have my new family standing up there with both David and myself, on the most amazing day of our lives. Although apparently they’re already planning an interesting sounding hen night… and there I was thinking we could all just go to the spa!
It’s definitely been quite the couple of weeks! I’m just glad we still had time to spare. Bridesmaid dropouts, disappearing dresses, and veils twice the size of a small planet—tell me some of your wedding planning horror stories!!
Tags: blogger search, bridesmaids, centrepieces, online, say yes to the dress, traditional, veil, wedding dress
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[...] my last post, I mentioned the centrepieces we’d ordered on eBay. I was initially looking for some white or [...]
Thank you all for your comments, you always make my day!! Carrie – I didn’t mention the ice cream, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t there :D
Jessyca – yikes!! That’s totally scary! So glad everything worked out!! :)
oh my goodness emily…you are going to look back on this laugh i’m sure…but i’m crossing my fingers that nothing else goes wrong!!
Hey Emily! Wow, you are resilient! I think I’d sit down and cry and cry and then eat a tub of ice cream and then I don’t know what! You are obviously a strong woman! Good for you. I guess the most important thing in the end is that you are getting married to the man you love and that you love his family. Thanks for making your blogs so positive and personal and bring so supportive of the other bloggers!
Wow! Great positive attitude!
I had a bridesmaid drop out on me too :(
Not all of them like you, but I was upset nonetheless. At least it happened to us early on, rather than last minute!
And our honeymoon cruise got canceled and we had to switch everything around!! We almost couldn’t go and would have had to cancel the whole thing. We had to ask permission from the port authority to let us board the ship a day late for an earlier cruise. I held my breath for two days waiting for that answer! Thank goodness they said it would be okay
I’m sorry to hear that things have gone wrong this early, but let’s hope it just means things won’t go wrong closer to the wedding!
Let’s see, what went wrong with mine?
One of my bridesmaids backed out just in time for a replacement dress to be ordered for a new bridesmaid. The one who backed out decided to go to Germany for the summer at the last minute instead of standing with me on such an important day.
I had one month from when school was out until the wedding, and when I asked my mom for help with last minute things, she said, “Can’t you do it o your own? You’re not working right now. You’ve got all the time in the world.” Cue Bridezilla moment on my own mother!
Our expensive, highly-recommended DJ decided not to follow our instructions and played songs we did NOT want played (due to requests of some of the drunker younger crowd) and played the songs we’d requested at times that were horribly inconvenient, like when I went to the bathroom. How do you not notice the bride’s not even in the room?!
Hope yours runs smoothly from here on out!
No matter what happens it’ll be a beautiful day as long as you’re still there!
Winter wedding’s are gorgeous and I can’t wait to see pic’s of your new dress. I hope it sparkles and shines as much as you do! Sorry to hear about your bridesmaids but you’re better off without people that aren’t going to be there for you. His sister’s look lovely. All the best and can’t wait to see your next post!
P.S. Forgot to say those centerpieces are perfect for a winter wedding! Phew they still had some!
You fit so well into your new family Emily you can just tell by how close you all are in that photo! What a perfect way to move into your new family and bond with the sisters. The boys look very handsome together too you’re going to have great photos! Happy for you that despite all the curveballs you’re focusing on the most important thing and thats you and him. I love your positivity! Looking forward to the much anticipated cake topper post!
Can’t wait to see your new dress my dear. I ended up with three dresses believe it or not. At first I wanted to save money so I bought a very simple plain white dress at a department store. Then I had similar feelings to you about not being in love with the dress so I found a clearance one at a bridal store. Then I stupidly kept looking… and found the perfect dress. It was a bit more expensive but I should have gone with my gut the first time around! I did manage to sell the second one though which was good.
We didn’t have too many things go wrong on the day of the wedding except for the DJ not playing our entrance song, but it wasn’t a big deal! You definiltey have the right attitude about all this!
Oh my dear Emily. *sending positive vibes*.
It’s truly unfortunate that your back up plans’ have had to be put to use, but the fact that you had one is awesome! I’m glad you’re dress worked out – the store in question was not very ‘presentable’ when I checked it out last year. As I said in my FB message to you, I completely agree with David that you should LOVE your dress and now I’m glad you do.
Your positive attitude will get you through anything (as it has been) and in the end, you’ll giggle about how everything turned out as it was meant to be. You completely fit into your new family!! My future sister-in-law and I get along so well that I just call her sister. We both are planning our weddings and after hearing horror stories about sister-in-laws, we both look at each other and say, “THANK GOD we both like each other”… haha. Sounds like you’re gaining an amazing family!
Cheers!!
everyone has bumps along the way it’s how you deal with them that tells of your character and i love how you are focused on you and david no matter what happens. everything else is just for show and shouldn’t get you down if it doesn’t go according to plan. and i’m happy you’re not letting it! plan b is sounding great em!
B xoxo
Emily your resilience not just in wedding planning but in life never ceases to amaze me. Life has dealt you a tough hand and you’ve chosen instead to use the experiences to grow rather than become angry or bitter about and I see the same attitude in your wedding planning- and I must agree with some of the other ladies that some of the plans are probaly even better than the originals. Don’t worry about the bridesmaids- you know you’re better off without people who prefer to bring you down and make you feel bad.And the veil if you can find one you love then go for it. Though I would love to see a picture of youu in the extra large one!
Oh hurrah Miss, I LOVE your attitude about this. The universe dealt you a really horrible hand and you came out with a smile on your face. Good for you hey, that’s really brilliant :)
In life, you always do need a Plan B, because you never know what can happen! I’m so sorry that you had so many things go awry in the wedding planning, but you seem to have everything back in order – perhaps even better than you did the first time! :)
Wow, that’s not ok for bridesmaids to drop out. Nope.
I am impressed by your positive attitude through all of this. You are lovely, em. And quite flexible to be rolling with all the punches. Bravo.
Oh wow. When it rains it pours, right? You are so great at handling challenges, Em. I cannot wait to see THE DRESS. :)
I love your attitude. Things happen, big things, but you don’t let it get to you. I’m sure you have moments of panic/sadness but you find a way to see the silver lining.
There is SO MUCH WORK that goes into a wedding and quite frankly, it scares me a little when my time comes to plan my own wedding.
I hope I have as much poise as you do when I’m planning my own wedding.
It seems that in all aspects of life Murphy’s Law hits and you have to be able to roll with the punches and address unexpected problems. Hopefully the rest of the wedding plans go perfectly for you, but I know that you will adapt and come up with a solution if there are any more glitches. The important thing is to take things in stride. Love your article, again!!
Sandy
I’m glad your backup plan worked out so well, especially about the bridal party and the dress. I cannot believe they went out of business. Are you going to put up pictures of the new dress?
This is sucha sweet post, and you’re so right when you say that you’re lucky to be marrying into such a loving family.
One thing I’ve always wanted is a large family to marry into, who’re well bonded and loving. Just a thing I’ve always had. :)
Good luck love.
You are so right about never knowing what will happen. There have been stories about people who “missed” their own wedding as a result of the Icelandic volcano issue.
We also had the Best Man act as MC and it worked out great! Good idea as the BM knows you better than most and can come up with a lot to say.
holy em david looks just like his sister (the 1 on the right!!!) what a lovely looking family. he looks like really good mates with the best man & all, you’re going to have such gorg. pics!!!! what happened with your bridesmaids??? can’t even begin to think how nasty they must of ended up being, you’re like the nicest person in the world. your lucky to find out early though better now than on the day!!!! that sneek pic of your new dress is such a tease….awesome you found one you love now. i want to see the whole thing!!!!
Craziness!!! Maybe if you get it out of the way now, you’ll have no problems on your real wedding day! You can only hope. I’m glad to hear you sounding so happy with how everything has turned out. It makes a difference to stay positive when you’re faced with unexpected challenges. David’s family sounds and looks really nice. I think it’s nice that you are including family. I had a friend from book club recently get engaged and we were just talking about shopping for dresses and everything else. It’s so much fun even though it does get tiring. You’ll have fond memories looking back for sure!!! :)
You’re right–things don’t always go according to plan. There were a few mishaps on my wedding day (nothing major), and during the planning process, I had to settle for a few things that weren’t in my original idea of a “perfect wedding.” However, I kept reminding myself that what mattered was that I’d be marrying my best friend, no matter what went wrong.
Awwww Aaron <3 I'm SO excited you're the BM & MC!! It's going to be awesome!!
Lisa – thank you thank you! It's true – easy to let the little things get to you but more important to stay focused on what's most important on the day :)
Heather – that's so awful!! I can't believe he had to WORK!! Glad you still got to go on a honeymoon a bit later though, at least you had something to look forward to still!
Angeline – that's crazy!! So glad you guys still got to have a fun time!!
Lisa – you're right, it's going to be such a wonderful way to join a new family :) I'm really excited to do all the wedding planning and stuff and just spend more time with David's sisters :)
Thanks for your kind words Hillary and Brenda, Audrey I'm just lucky it all happened now rather than in 6 months time!!
Emily you're right – the most important thing is not to let the things that go wrong sidetrack you from what's most important on the day. I think lots of people just get very hung up on the details and impressing the guests that they lose track that it's really just about celebrating the love that two people have – regardless of if things go perfectly according to plan or not :)
Em! You know I’d do anything for the two of you! Sounds like the wedding plans are humming along!! :) Good call on the backup plans!!
I am glad that everything is coming together, despite the set backs. You are taking it all in stride – which is awesome. I think you are able to do that because you know the most important part of the wedding is your relationship with David. At the end of the day, the only thing that *really* matters is the fact that he is going to be there through thick and thin. And that is a wonderful thing!
Em! You know I’d do anything for the two of you! Sounds like the wedding plans are humming along!! :) Good call on the backup plans!!
Sounds like things are coming together for you! :)
Fortunately (and amazingly!), everything for us went off w/o a hitch… until the honeymoon. We planned for a Thursday wedding thinking that my then construction worker fiance could afford to take a couple days off for the wedding and enjoy a long weekend honeymoon. No such luck. The boss who gave him the day off left the company and the new boss decided to be a jerk and rescinded my hubby’s time off. Hubby had to work a whole shift the day of our wedding and was told he could have a late start on Friday… he could come in at 10 AM versus 8 AM. Argh. We were pretty irritated to say the least.
Needless to say, we put our honeymoon off for 6 months and he found a new job! :)
We had our wedding out by the lake and we were supposed to have our reception in this big cabin. It was a nice day – not too hot and not too cold, and being by the water was super nice – but halfway through the reception we lost ALL THE POWER. No music, no lights, nothing. Thankfully a friend had his guitar in the car and we all lit candles and had a sing along which was lots of fun – but definitely threw a bit of a screw in the works! Good for you for focusing on what’s really important – you and him, the family you’re marrying into (they sound wonderful), and just the love you share no matter what life may throw at you. I read the post Kelly shared, I hope you don’t mind, and I have to agree you really are an inspiration. Glad things are back on track!
I’m so glad that you’re keeping a positive attitude :) Weddings can be so stressful – keeping yourself in a happy place will make everything seem so much easier.
Awwww, I think that you’ve really found wonderful back up plans, and I too think they sound even better than the originals! I’m so excited to see pictures of your new dress! How exciting. :D And that is wonderful that David’s sisters are going to stand up there with you. That is truly an honor! What a wonderful way to join a new family. :D
Glad to see instead of having a panic attack you focussed your energy into more positive things. It’s easy to go “Bridezilla” when things go wrong but you have a spirit that’s just a shining example for anyone with an upcoming wedding. I hope people take note of that. Best of luck gal
i would’ve had a meltdown if all these things happened in a span of two weeks!! i’m glad you had enough sense to take a deep breath and think about fixing it rather than freaking out. i have so much confidence in you that you’ll be able to tackle any other mishaps that may come up in the months leading up to the actual day. good luck em!!
As a mother of 2 recent brides I learnt some good lessons at an outside remote location wedding last year. We had food challenges, 2 of the hottest days of the summer with a torrent of rain the night before and mud, mud, mud everywhere, but my lovely daughter put it in to perspective, on the day of the wedding, no matter how much planning and prep we did, there will still be challenges that day that we could not plan for, but she had the right idea all along, the only thing tht matterd that day was her and him and the ceremony the rest was just all frills for the quests, she did not want to hear about the things that didn’t go right or the problems but reveal in the joy of the two of them coming together as man and wife. Ifeel lucky to have raised such a smart daughter, because that is what will get them throught life.
S. K. – Thanks so much! I promise I will share next post!!
Brittany – You’re such a sweetheart <3
Angela – Thank you!! :)
Alesha – We actually went with a different cake place – one in the city :( I figured it would be one more stress worrying about it being out of town and not being able to actually meet her in person etc… but we found a great place here that wasn't too expensive :) You'll have to tell me some more stories from your photography experience!!
Lisa – I'm not sure if I'll post pics yet! I don't have a pic of me IN it – it should arrive in July, and they only had it in cream and size 12 (I'm a 2 lol) so we didn't take pics!
Thanks Leanne! :)
Kelly – oh you silly girl, lol. Nobody needs to read my ramblings!! Thank you so much for your FAR too kind comments!
Ashley – never thought of Etsy! We got our card box from there that arrived this week and it was gorgeous! I guess after my eBay veils I'm just kinda hesitant about buying a veil online from anywhere – but I will definitely take a look. Any time I've bought anything from there it's been gorgeous :)
Hannah – Thank you so so much for being such a sweetheart!! :)
Han – that's really funny about your Mum!! Although we booked the church before we were officially engaged too lol! That's a good idea asking people to take snapshots – I'm HUGE on taking photos and it's killing me I'm not going to be able to be the one actually taking them on the day – plus asking people to snap pics is a much more fun job than minding the Guest Book :)
I don’t think we really had a Plan B as such because I got engaged nearly 18 months before the day we were on a proper mission. My Mum had made a list literally the same day that my OH asked her and my Dad for permission (yeah, Mum nothing like counting chickens before they’ve hatched lol).
I had decided that my bridesmaids would be family rather than friends – too many friends lol. My 3 best friends from uni were like honorary bridesmaids – they weren’t up the front doing the official thing but they’d each been given little things to do – one did my makeup the other had responsibility to take as many pictures as possible for me to see after and things like that.
I had my cousin armed with his camera too – I wanted all the professional pictures but I wanted relaxed and chilled ones too.
What I love about your Weddingbells posts is that you always tackle a larger issue. Yes, you get in into the ever important intricacies of planning a wedding but you always find a way to relate it to any reader. Jeepers, I am not anywhere near getting married and I am always glued to your posts. You are fabulous love, I don’t even need to say that twice!
Best,
Hannah Katy
Oh girl! It sounds as though all your backup plans are more rock solid than the original! And I’m so relived it’s working out that way.
Have you looked at etsy for veils and headpieces?? They have some WONDERFUL vendors and artisans…some of them will even do custom pieces once you know what you want.
I’m so happy everything is working out…and you don’t seem at ALL stressed!
Way to go em you definately know how to roll with those punches like lori said. I think you should share your blog with ppl so they can see how truly awesome you are. the wedding plan b’s are a bit of a small deal considering all the other crap you’ve gone thru recently and your proof that a positive attitude goes a long way. can i share this?
http://emily-jane.net/2010/04/14/unmasked/
i hope you dont mind i just think you’re such an inspiration and the more ppl learn from you the better! cant wait to see your new dress!
You certainly know how to roll with the punches!! Wow – it’s amazing to see how resilient you truly are and the many life lessons you’ve learned.
Your wedding day is going to be even more special with everything you’ve gone through! Keep on working on Plan B!
Your journey is a joy to read about, you have a way making hard moments in our lives sound almost comical.
Hurrah for Plan B! Sounds great, Em!
so sorry to hear about the situation with your bridesmaids – whats wrong with them!!! i’ve been reading your personal blog em and you’ve been thru a LOT lately & your positivity never ceases to inspire me!!!! glad you got everything sorted out – his sisters sound awesome and i’m so happy you found a dress you LOVE!!!! do we get to see pics of it???
Aw, so happy things are working out!! Wedding planning always comes up with road bumps, glad you got over them early and on to the big day!!
I remember from photographing many weddings how you definitely need a backup plan, some had them some didn’t.. glad you do! If you need me to help you out in any way (other than delivering the cake, lol) you just let me know, and I’ll be there in a snap!! Love you girl, can’t wait to hear more about your planning!!
I can’t believe the dress shop went out of business!! Wow! You are truly an amazing person to keep so positive in the face of so many difficulties:)
I canNOT wait for your important day! I agree; you may hit bumps in the road NOW, but it will make something of a funny story. :)
You’re going to be beautiful. xoxo
I’m sorry you had so many things not go according to plan within such a short time frame. Glad you seem to have sorted things out. The centrepieces look lovely as is that family photograph – you and David’s sisters will look beautiful. Very much looking forward to seeing these cake toppers – I think you have us all eagerly anticipating what they could be!