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My Big Fat British French-Canadian Anglo-Catholic Wedding
Some of you may remember from my first post that I actually grew up in England. My family moved to Canada 10 years ago (I can’t believe it’s gone so quickly!), and though I love Canada dearly (the country that brought me into adulthood, taught me many valuable lessons, and, most importantly, brought me my true love!), I’ve always stayed true to my British roots. I don’t think a day goes by without us both watching EastEnders or listening to BBC radio in the house! David, however, is Canadian through and through. More specifically, French-Canadian. He was raised speaking dual languages, and since we’ve been together, I’ve learned lots about his family’s culture and traditions. We’d really like to incorporate elements from both sides throughout the day, and have the ceremony itself a fusion of not only our cultures, but of our different spiritual backgrounds, too.
When we initially began planning the wedding, I honestly thought we’d have a small, intimate affair of about 50 people. The majority of my family live in the UK, and likely wouldn’t be able to make the trip to Winnipeg (particularly in December!), and I have a relatively small group of close-knit friends. Then I realised that 50 barely covered half of David’s side—and we soon decided we wanted to extend the invitation to everybody (especially in the holiday season)! What better reason to gather everyone together than uniting in a celebration of love?
I was however, a little nervous about the ceremony. David comes from a traditional Roman Catholic background, and though I was baptised 
Anglican, religion was not something I was raised with—I only grew into my faith in recent years. I’d attended church with him many times, and had learned that part of a Catholic service was to receive the Eucharist (the consecrated bread and wine which, according to the faith, become the body and blood of Christ), however as a non-Catholic, my church experience during this part of the service had been to simply remain in the pews. I understood that this was an important part for David, but was a little uncomfortable thinking of my side of the family and non-Catholic friends having to do the same at the wedding. I really wanted it to be inclusive of everybody, the focus being on unity – and having something that separates not only our guests, but us as a couple as part of the service just didn’t feel quite right. Luckily, the priest who will be performing the service is a good friend of David’s, and kindly came over for tea to address any concerns I had. I was instantly reassured when he informed us that it’s perfectly normal to omit this part of the ceremony when one party is non-Catholic—and is actually, in this case, the preferred way of doing things! The rest of the ceremony will remain traditional, and this way, both of us (and all our guests) can be a part of everything.
We are both going to select readings that mean a lot to us, and to include David’s culture and upbringing, we are sending out some of our invitations in English, and to his family, in French. Something British will add on to the traditional “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue… and a sixpence in her shoe.” According to my research, the tradition began in England in the 1600′s and continues 
to this day, and is believed to bring good luck. Since sixpences are no longer being made, I turned to my faithful friend eBay (of course!), and found a coin from 1910—one hundred years before we’ll make our commitment. We also have a good deal of personal touches throughout the day, from DIY sci-fi cake toppers, to the lyrics of our favourite songs centred at each table. Our hope is for the day to reflect not only our love and commitment, but all the things that led us to each other, too.
If you and your fiancé come from different backgrounds, how are you incorporating both cultures and traditions in your wedding?
Tags: blogger search, catholic, church, culture, french-canadian, traditional, traditions
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I love that you are putting your own personal touches on your wedding and bringing your traditions together. . . and I love the sci-fi cake toppers!
I’m Jewish and my husband is Presbyterian. If we were left up to our own devices, we likely would’ve had a non-secular wedding. However, it was our parents’ strong wishes to incorporate both religions into the ceremony. We essentially weaved together traditions from both religions that didn’t conflict with the other religion. We were surprised at how seamlessly the process went. And many of our guests complimented us on the ceremony saying it was heartfelt and inclusive of all.
This is a very thoughtful, versatile and very unique approach to the wedding scenario, not unlike the two people being married in this ceremony.
I love the idea and can’t fault it in the slightest. I wish you the very best of luck, it sounds wonderful. :)
Amy you’re right, eBay has been amazing (plus who doesn’t love getting little packages in the mail every few weeks?) :)
Soph NO you can’t spill the beans!! lol!!
Great ideas Em! Amazing you found a hundred yr old coin – and good idea taping it to the bottom LOL last thing you want is a blister! Can I spill the beans on the cake topper? LOL no I’ll be good! Love ya, can’t wait to see it all brought to life!
I’m dying to know about the cake topper and all!!! I agree with a lot of other ladies here, I love how you’er incorporating traditions and cultures from both sides to really celebrate what drew you together =) and Ebay is AWESOME!!!
Thank you everyone! Vicki I’mm glad you found something that’s going to work for both of you. When I phoned to book the church (it’s David’s church) they asked me what denomination I was and I said… “Church of England?” lol I didn’t KNOW that meant the same thing as Anglican and she made me feel rather silly haha :) I’m taping the sixpence to the BOTTOM of my shoe in the heel arch bit so it doesn’t fall off (or get uncomfortable!) Thank you everyone else for your support, I’m glad you like the ideas :)
And I know I’ve kept the sci-fi cake topper secret!! Sorry guys… I promise I will post about it (with pictures!) very soon! :)
it sounds like it’s going to be lovely, amazing and memorable! :)
This post makes me look so forward to meeting the man that I will marry and eventually planning our wedding together. I think it is so beautiful how you are intertwining your cultures and heritages together for such a celebration.. I also adore the ways in which you are coupling the past with the present. I have no doubt that it will be an amazing wedding, ceremony and reception!
Best,
Hannah Katy
I’m Catholic and Stu is Atheist although he likes to think there is “something out there” so to speak. I suppose it’s going to be easier for us as although I was baptised a Roman Catholic, I don’t have the strict catholic upbringing (though part of me wishes I had!) I didn’t want to put him through a long Catholic ceremony which may frighten him off a bit (even though I kind of wanted it) so we are getting married ina beautiful C of E church. TO make sure my wedding is recognised by the Catholic church (as it isn’t if it isn’t in a Catholic church?!?!) I have to go to a Catholic priest and effectively ask permission. (I still haven’t done this yet..). I think this is a nice way to sort both of us out :)
Liking the silver sixpence idea – I am not going for it myself, but that’s because I only discovered the tradition a few years ago and didn’t see it as a prority for me personally.. Plus I’d spend the whole ceremony getting really annoyed that there’s something in my shoe :P
Oh, I love reading about the special touches you are bringing to the wedding. It sounds like it’s going to be a beautiful mishmash of culture and other elements that are important to you. I find that that is what makes a wedding memorable for everyone. Very exciting. :)
Aww thank you S. K. and Maria! :) Jen I had no idea you had two ceremonies!! I’ve seen people do that sometimes, and last night we were watching a “Rich Bride, Poor Bride” where the couple had two RECEPTIONS because they couldn’t agree on a style lol.
Once again you have proved yourself a great writer and a worthy winner of this competition. It is rare to see someone consistently write so well with such heart and sincerity. Looking forward to seeing more from you.
I really appreciate how inviting your writing is Emily. It’s fantastic the care you are taking to incorporate “cultural fusions” and traditional aspects into the wedding. I look forward to reading your next post.
Never knew about the last part of the traditional rhyme, love it! Love that you are combining your cultures, and that the priest is a good friend of David’s. Will be a very meaningful day for both of you.
i love the sixpence idea! that’s so sweet!!!!
Chad isn’t really religious and we wanted to do something different and fun so we got married in Vegas, believe it or not! Then we did have a Catholic ceremony with my family when we got back! :)
Thank you to everyone, as ALWAYS, for your kind comments! It’s so interesting to hear about other people’s stories on the subject too :)
Incorporating traditions, cultures, and religions into a ceremony could definitely be a big deal! I do want to have a traditional, Christian wedding in a church and I haven’t really thought about what to do if my partner has different traditions he wants to incorporate. It’s definitely something to think about!
Again a great article Emily. I would have to give thought to combining Jewish and Christian cultures in my wedding ceremony if it ever happens for me. It sounds like you’ll have the perfect ceremony. Love Sandy
I am so glad you are able to incorporate both of your cultures into your wedding planning. And that you were able to make the ceremony work for you so you’d feel comfortable. That is just great.
So exciting for your wedding! I think it’s a wonderful time of year to get married. Is there any time more festive than the holidays? :)
My husband comes from an Orthodox Jewish family and my family is Episcopalian. We don’t really consider ourselves religious though. We are, however, spiritual. So, we are having a very open ceremony. In order to make both of our families at least comfortable we have nixed any churches or synagogues for the ceremony (we are already married but have never had an official wedding). We will likely do it outside.
This line…
“Our hope is for the day to reflect not only our love and commitment, but all the things that led us to each other, too.”
is beautiful..it gave me chills! Don’t ask me why, I don’t really know. How wonderful that you have found a way to make this most special day reflective of the love you share and the two individuals that you are!
You rock Emily!! I wish you only the best on this journey!!
It’s so awesome you are keeping true to your roots!
FH and I aren’t religious or really having a traditional wedding, but we are including things that we feel “make us”.
I think it’s important for couples to include things that make them a couple.
Thanks for another great blog :)
Oh! I love this post. It is so exciting to hear how you are incorporating all the different elements of you two as a couple and to hear how you’re meshing it all together. It’s wonderful! Such a great testiment to your love for each other. :D
How lovely you found a 100 year old sixpence to incorporate an English tradition. And sending out some invitations in French too – are you going to have bilingual programs etc. at the ceremony? Love how you’re placing such importance on the things that brought the 2 of you together. Will be a lovely ceremony and reception – I agree though I also want to see this “sci fi cake topper”!
it must have been quite the culture shock moving from britain to canada. love your furry hood though you look adorable!!! it’s awesome you’re using aspects from both your backgrounds in the ceremony. it really shows unity and that’s what’s most important on the day.
We had a similar situation, except I was Catholic and Robin was Anglican – we had our ceremony in a Catholic church, too, but we kept the Eucharist part in as it was really important to my family. Looking back I probably would have done the same thing as you, since he and all his guests had to sit through a part of the ceremony they couldn’t be included in. It’s great that you’re so thoughtful of both your families and all your guests, and of each other! It definately shows maturity and strength in your relationship.
I never knew about the whole six-pence thing! How cute!!
I’m impressed with how you and David look out for each other and how you have discussed religion. It shows the maturity in your relationship. :)
I, will of course, have lots of God in my ceremony [one day] and would hope to have a husband that could agree/support that.
Well, you might recall that I am from Germany and my husband is American. I was raised Catholic, while he is Presbyterian. We had a ceremony that combined both our religious backgrounds (and we omitted the Eucharist completely). Our service was in German and English and everybody loved it (as far as I was told).
I think it’s great that you are going to try to mix your traditions to create something uniquely yours. :)
We were lucky because neither of us are religious or have religious families. We had more of a spiritual ceremony which was more our style.
Another thoughtful post my dear, it’s refreshing to see a bride not want to take the reigns but to showcase everything about both of you. You hit the nail on the head – it’s important to show the little things about both of you and incorporate both sides of traditions because those are the things that bruoght you together. Also, did I read “DIY Sci-Fi Cake Toppers”? Please share!
Religion was a HUGE issue for our wedding.
Mike and I were both raised relaxed Catholic (and he even went to a Catholic HS) but he mostly rejected religion. And I don’t really identify with organized religion – but our families (particularly the grandmothers) would be HEARTBROKEN if we didn’t include God in some way.
Luckily we found a non-denominational pastor who was able to integrate enough mentions of God to please our relatives, while keeping is mostly religion-neutral for Mike and I. It’s wonderful once you reach that balance.
I did not expect for this post to consider so much in the way of culture, religion, and faith, but I suppose if you are to get married in a church, that is something that should be considered! Glad that you two are not taking sides and are trying to be all-inclusive with everything. I don’t want to get ahead of everyone, but if you two are to have kids, you’ve already well-rehearsed one of the most important things you can teach them — diversity.
I just LOVE posts like this!! :) I love it that things are falling into place :) LOVE YOU!
Aww, what a lovely post!
Well, my boyfriend and I do plan to get married someday, and we’re definitely from different cultures. But I’m not into the wedding thing (for myself — for others it’s great!) so who knows. We may just do a private thing at a courthouse (just me and him, or just me and him and our parents) and then have a big ole party for everyone else after.
But I think your solutions for incorporating both cultures and making your families feel a part of the ceremony are really wonderful. :)
How beautiful that you will be having a ceremony that represents both of your roots.
This is so beautifully written, MLE! I can’t wait for your big day! You two deserve the best!
Many x’s and o’s
Aww thank you!! Judith – I’m excited to read your post tomorrow – and intrigued about the sixpence! Shareen, I wish you could come over and be here too… you’re going to love our cake topper ;) Sweet!! You know how excited I am not just for all the little parts of the day, but to spend the rest of my life with you <3 Okay I'll stop being sappy, haha :)
I am also glad we worked out this way of staying true to both our traditions, cultures and roots – it’s a life-long partnership so I’m glad it’s starting off as a mixture of what makes us both unique! I can’t wait, sweetheart!
Emily, I love it that you stay true to your British roots…
Its so good that you guys always manage to do the best for both of you :D I love that about you guys…
I would love to be there on your big day to see you guys devote yourselves to each other in front of all your friends and family, and as is important to you two, in the eyes of your god…
love to you guys x x
Yet another great one my dear! Looks like we’ve both written about traditions this week :p. I’m so intrigued when it comes to learning about different cultures and traditions; how marriage ceremonies differ and where they are the same.
How great is it that the priest who’ll be marrying you is a good friend of David’s?! That’s wonderful that your ceremony is a combination of your religions and cultures. Hehe – sixpence in the shoe – you’ll understand why I giggle when you read my post tomorrow ;).
Cheers!