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The Dress Without the Stress
Recently, I went to my first dress fitting. I’d been looking forward to it ever since I bought the dress—I’d got it on sale last fall, and had been advised to come early to be fitted before the summer rush. I knew I was going to have trouble finding anything in a Size 2, and having bought it off the rack in a Size 10, there were probably going to have to be some major alterations! So, with my maid of honour in tow, we headed over to get it sized down, in the hopes of no longer looking like I’d be attending a toga party on my wedding day.
The story of why I bought this dress was, at the time, quite the ordeal. Several years ago, in post-university naivety, I’d become engaged to a chap that ended up being responsible for pretty much the worst year of my life, emotionally, financially, and sad to say, physically. It was a tough period, but I look back on it as a growth experience, and ultimately it led me to where I am today. Thankfully, I made a lucky escape, but it did leave me with several wedding-related items, including a dress! Never worn, I kept it in its bag for years, and only took it out again a few months ago, not long after David’s beautiful proposal. I was horrified to see a BIG YELLOW STAIN on the front of the dress, in prime full-frontal positioning. I was mortified, and proceeded to phone a series of dry cleaners immediately, who all informed me of a case of “oxidization”: the result of fabric being enclosed in an airtight bag and not being able to ‘recycle’ the air – kind of like rust. I had no idea about dress preservation, but this was definitely a lesson: ladies, take note, and be sure to properly preserve in order to avoid embarrassing stains!
All cleaners quoted me exorbitant figures and none were able to guarantee the stain would even come out—so I was faced with a dilemma. Find a couple of hundred dollars I didn’t have and spend it on a gamble, or simply buy a new dress. I decided on the latter, and luckily it was late fall, so all the bridal shops were having big sales. I immediately found something lovely on sale for $200! The only trouble was that it was off the rack (so slightly grubby from handling), and four sizes too big. The saleslady assured me they could alter and clean it, and recently, I got to see what it was really going to look like on. Seeing it on filled me with butterflies—this year, I will be marrying the man who’s changed my life, and who’s shown me a love I never thought existed in the real world—and I was filled with excitement, and a feeling of deep appreciation.
I did learn quite a few lessons from my dress-buying experience, and I’d definitely like to share. Firstly: take your wedding shoes. I had to make two trips so they could hem it properly, because I hadn’t even thought to bring them the first time. Secondly: try and score something off the rack instead of ordering it in. You won’t have to worry about delivery deadlines, plus it’ll probably be cheaper (try and go in the off-season) —and any alteration is possible! Thirdly: veils and headpieces on sale in bridal shops are very expensive. I found both mine on eBay, and they look just as good! And lastly—think about undergarments. I sure didn’t, and all my dress gitting photos have two big white bra straps showing—not quite the scrapbook-worthy elegance I was hoping for!
So now I have my dress—it’s A-line, white, strapless and train less (best to avoid even trying to keep it snow-free)—next step is to plan on how to wear my hair with it, and how to accessorize! What do you feel works best with this type of dress, and have you learned any valuable lessons while dress shopping?
Tags: accessories, alterations, bridal gown, budget, off the rack, preservation, stain
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45 Responses to “The Dress Without the Stress”
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hi Em just had to stop by and give my support again esp. after reading your article today (the starts with us one). you can tell not only by your pictures and entries in this contest but by everything else you do just how great a person you are & you deserve this more than anyone. no matter what life throws your way you always see the positives (I remember the *whole* dress buying story from your blog! :P) and that is something to be greatly admired. best of luck chicka.
Hi again everyone – thank you so much! S. K. I think you’re right – a flower might look a bit out of place and I do like the idea of long hair. Ashley – I hadn’t considered a pony – I’ll have to test it out! And April – you’re such a sweetheart. Thanks so much for checking out my personal blog, your words mean a lot <3
You look lovely in that picture and you can tell how happy you are. I always think with more elegant dresses (no puffy sleeves or elaborate beading or huge train) that it looks nice with long wavey, romantic hair. And judging from your posts so far you can tell how much of a heart you have not just for your fiance but in general. So something romantic would look nice. Long waves, or half-up, half-down, perhaps a little tiara (I wouldn’t say a flower in your hair since it is a winter wedding). Whatever you choose you will be a stunning bride.
You’re such a doll and you’re going to look stunning.
What kind of hairstyles do you like? I think you would look lovely with a loose off-to-one side pony.
I’m so glad you got through to the finals because I’ve loved everyone of your blogs so far! Ditto on what others said, you are a great writer and by the looks of it the only real writer in the contest. (I checked out your blog & the other online places you write for – srsly guys, this lady is the real deal!) if this is a BLOGGING competition, I hope you take it hands down because clearly you have the support, and I hope voting this time around is a little better managed than last time where anyone with enough tme on their hands could vote however many times they had time for. You’ve got the heart, the wit and the talent lady, and by the sounds of it after being thru some rough stuff, you deserve to win. And definately have my vote!
Hey Megan, wow I don’t know if I’d be able to get through the day in 4 inch heels without falling over!! :) I’m still on an undergarment search – I’ve never worn a strapless bra (sorry if that’s TMI lol) but I’ll have to pick one up before I go for my next fitting… which is in two weeks, eep!
I definitely plan on wearing it down – maybe half-up, half-down? But I don’t think hair up suits me very much. I did it for the first time in years for Valentine’s day last weekend and I was second-guessing it for 20 minutes before we left the house :)
Somehow, I managed to get my dress off the rack in a size 4. (I, too, needed it altered.) I ended up buying 4-inch heels, and the dress was still too long! They altered the length, but I had to bring undergarments before they could alter the rest. Overall, it wasn’t a bad experience, though, and I’m lucky for that!
Do you plan on wearing an updo or down?
I agree with sandy. A few weeks in and clearly you are the bloggers fav. and since this is a WRITING contest I def. think you deserve to win! your writing is wonderful, I’ve started reading your personal blog too (another reason you should win) & I hope people take that into account. I’m sorry to hear about the last relationship, you’re so sweet I can’t believe someone would treat you that way. I’m glad youve met the man of your dreams now and i hope this contest can be the icing on the cake for what sounds like a tough journey to get here.. you look beautiful in the dress as for jewelry have you thought of something winter themed to match your weddnig? Like a little snowflake or something might tie in nice. Anyway just wanted to give you my support you have my vote girl
laura :o)
Emily: You look stunning in your dress and I love the photo. It’s an innovative photo, as you can see your side in the mirror behind you, nice effect! Regarding your article it is simply fantastic. You could publish it in a professional wedding magazine or in the wedding section of the newspaper. It has all the elements of a great article, an interesting story line and tips for future brides. You should consider writing articles as a part-time position since you have a flair for words. This is coming from a professional writer of 23 years. I am really impressed with your writing!! Love Sandy
wow em you look lovely in your dress! can’t wait to see the whole thing. kelly reckons you should go wiv a nice silver necklace & long hair maybe a bit wavey, what about a simple tiara (nothing too OTT!!!) to give it that finishing touch. but i agree wiv everyone else on that your smile is the best accessory & yours is DAZZLING my dear!!!
There is no feeling like putting on “the dress”. The feeling is amazing, you are transformed into a princess. So very happy for you. Savour every moment.
You look beautiful Em! Can’t wait to see a photo of the whole dress! That’s awesome that you got such an amazing deal on your dress!!
I’m so happy that life is finally the way that you want it to be! You’re a beautiful person, inside and out and you deserve the best!
I was really lucky – I bought off the rack and it fit perfectly so it didn’t require any alterations. Also, the top had boning built in so I didn’t need any special undergarments. AND it was one of the first dressed I tried on. I have no useful tips is what I’m saying. The dress was one of the least stressful aspects of my wedding planning.
woo woo looking good lady! I think a downdo would be really pretty, wavy or curly, and something simple & elegant for a necklace. anything more would take away from your gorgeous smile!
Em! The dress is beautiful! I’m so glad it worked out even after the problems with the first dress. Best to get a fresh start on the dress with the best man ever, right?
As for hairstyles… I love your hair and think it would look gorgeous with loose barrel curls, but that’s just me :)
You look fantastic in your dress. You are beautiful enough without all the other accessories. All the best to you Emily
How exciting, all the preparations for a wedding! You look beautiful. I totally agree with not buying your veil/accessories in a bridal shop–just too expensive and not even worth it! I’ve also seen gorgeous/inexpensive wedding items on etsy. What about doing your hair in a low, loose side bun? Ooh I’m so excited to follow you on your wedding journey! <3
Aw hello everyone :)
Elly – yes! It’s all about air circulation and being trapped inside makes it build up and stain – I never would’ve known either!!
Audrey – I think I’m going to go with two pairs. Strappy white sandals for inside and big snow boots for outside lol. I’ve been scouring the malls trying to find a white pair but haven’t had much luck so far – if it comes to it, we’ll all wear Sorels lol. Maybe with bows on :)
Linds thanks for the tip!! I’m bringing you undergarment shopping with me!! :)
Cheryl – I was tempted!! But David reads and he had a small heart attack when he saw the sneak peek (having wanted desperately to keep it a surprise!) so that’s all I can leak onto the internetz for now :)
Lisa – thank you so much!! :)
Casey – that’s actually what I’m leaning towards. I’d really like some of it down and maybe some up, but I’d really like it long – I just wish extensions weren’t so expensive!!
Lisa & Janet, you’re such sweethearts :) *Hugs*
Lyndsey – it’s true! I almost wish I’d kept shopping around and had the fun of trying on a bunch of dresses, but at the same time I’m glad I found it so quickly :)
Thank you everyone for your support as always xoxo
great advice! especially the one about bringing your shoes! are you still going with strappy sandals despite the threat of cold weather?
If I learned anything while helping my bestie find her dress, it was to wear appropriate undergarments and find your flowery headpiece and/or veil elsewhere. You’re definitely right, it’s much more cost effective than buying them at the bridal store. On a side note, your posts are wonderful reads Em, you give so much insight on things that could easily be overlooked when completing wedding tasks. Looking forward to your next post! :)
xo Linds
Full picture of the dress! We want it.
Love to see you in your dress! You always write so beautifully and you make me wanna laugh. You are a good story-teller. Whatever you do you will look amazing. Lisa B
Love the story!! I think you should get some hair extensions and do either some big waves or put half up and leave half down…. Although whichever way you do it you will look absolutely stunning!
You are just stunning my dear! You will be such a gorgeous bride!!
You look stunning in that picture, Emily! You’re going to be such a beautiful bride, you just radiate happiness! And the fact that your focus is on you guys’s love and commitment and not the fancy dress is admirable. I saw so many bridezillas on wedding shows when I was getting married and get the sense that there are a couple of them perhaps in this competition….. I hope people see how genuine you are, from the first post about donating to charity to the focus on your friends and family and now your focus on your love is just so special, and I’m sorry you had to go through that experience with such a jerk before. You deserve nothing but happiness and I wish you all the best. & for accessorizing? I’d go with something simple. As Hannah Katy said your smile is your best accessory and so you will look beautiful no matter what.
Emily you are so lucky you found your dress so quickly! I just went out dress shopping with my best friend over christmas time and my goodness there are so many selections! Even just finding a style you like can mean taking a few hours to try them all on. Congratulations on finding the dress (and man!) of your dreams!
Not going to lie, there are some levels of girliness that will just not interest me, haha! But because you’re awesome, I skipped to the picture and you just look pretty and happy. So that’s all good with me :D
Oh! You look gorgeous!! The dress looks amazing and woo! You’re getting married! :) When my best friend got married I was charged with dropping the dress off at the drycleaner once the festivities had passed. What I didn’t know is that they don’t use chemicals or anything to preserve the dress (like I thought they did). Instead they put them in museum grade archive boxes, and store them in cool, dry places. Clever, right? Sometime about air circulation and whatever (which after reading your post, sounds alot more plausible now :)
gorgeous dress! you’re so pretty! can’t wait to see the pictures of the rest of the dress AND the day!
Well…. I didn’t want to say anything bad about the experience but I’ll have to share a bit of a story with you another time – sounds like we had the same sort of experience! I LOVE your dress – I’d never seen one actually ordered off eBay but yours is stunning, I love it!! :)
Love it Em! At least you seemed to enjoy wedding dress shopping more than I did, the staff in the shops annoyed me so much that I ended up getting it off eBay!! Lol. I’ll probably so it with my veil/tiara too :)
It’s a shame about the stain on the old dress, but it’s reminded me to get mine out of the bag sometime soon! xx
I loved wedding dress shopping! I knew I wanted something completely sparkly! I wish I hadn’t decided on a dress so quickly because it was fun to try dresses on. I totally should have taken advantage of being able to go into any wedding shop to try on wedding dresses. But I did find mine and I used to take it out all the time to try on before we actually got married. I miss it now that it’s all packed up in a box with a window on it…I can only gaze at it lovingly through the window. I bought mine at David’s Bridal off the rack so I didn’t have to order it. I took it in to them before we got married and they cleaned it all up and made it beautiful for me a couple of days before the wedding. My advice is to just enjoy it whatever you do!!!!!!!
Hi everyone! Sorry I didn’t get to write until today, I was off in Toronto :) Thank you all as always for your lovely comments and for taking the time to stop by, your support, as always, means the world!!
I love the way this story has a happy ending and even though i’ve never seen this other dress i’m sure it was for the best that you had to get a new one… It just looks so perfect on you, very contemporary classic, I really wouldn’t fuss to much about accesories, both you and the dress are so gorgeous it looks like it wouldn’t need much to make everything complete!
aww… Emily, I can’t believe your getting married!!!
Hey Em, thank you for sharing your dress story and that beautiful photo. I can’t wait to see the rest of the dress as the top looks absolutely gorgeous and anything you add in terms of accessories and hair will look nothing short of stunning. I hope readers can see what a genuine girl you are and how its not important to get the most expensive, fancy dress you can, and just from your writing and your radiating sincerity in your smile I hope people can see that you are such a deserving bride. Like Ashley I love your deep brown hair and I think if you wear it half up-half down, or all down and curly it would look gorgeous, and with that you wouldn’t need big fancy earrings, just a simple pendant maybe that matches the elegance of the dress. Whatever you choose will look stunning!
A lot of good tips for a girl who has never been wedding dress shopping and only been in ONE WEDDING! I did know about the shoes after the bride-to-be hammered and hammered me about buying mine so we could hem the dress. Never thought about undergarments, though!
LOL!! I barely remember this story from when we had lunch so it was great to read it again. As for how you’ll do your hair, that’s a toughie! I think it just all depends on your personal style and regardless, you’ll look stunning!
i can’t wait to see actual wedding pictures!!!!!
The dress is beautiful! I think an updo, or half pulled up and the rest down your back would look amazing.
I feel like some kind of updo will go nice with a strapless. I love your deep brunette hair, so I think you’d look fabulous having your hair half-up.
Alrighty lady, you won’t like it but I totally envision you (because you’re naturally beautiful and very chill and down to earth) with this hair.. its actually your length, just curled and loose and pulled in a low bun thing, but its hard to tell: http://www.celebrityhairstylesnews.com/celebrityhairstyles/emma-stone2.jpg and http://www.celebrityhairstylesnews.com/celebrityhairstyles/emma-stone1.jpg.
As for accessories, you sparkle so I think your jewels should, too! I thought about more traditional vintage-y pearls, but I think sparkley (vintage-y, like try Rhinestones.com) drop earrings and a simple but gorgeous necklace?
And I’m with you. Undergarments, veil, jewelry, etc etc all came from Overstock.com or eBay. Bridal stores are a rip-off.
$200 is amazing! Shopping off the rack is such a great tip. There are fantastic deals to be had.
I think a pretty necklace would look great with your dress. No matter what accessories or hairstyle you go with, you will be beautiful and radiant!
These are definitely the big tips! Bring anything that you’re going to be wearing on the day- shoes & bras especially so when you’re being fitted the dress gets sized properly. That, and be firm with snarky ridiculous store employees ;)
SUCH good tips! (Not that I plan to marry anytime in this decade, but definitely passable to good friends) ;)
I love (and appreciate) that you’re taking us on the journey of planning and putting together your weddding!
I think your day will be nothing short of magical. xoxo
You look beautiful and I trust that whatever you add in accessories or hair styles will look absolutely amazing. I guess I have learned through previous dress shopping is to go when you are feeling good. There is nothing worse then going dress shopping when you are not feeling on top of your game: nothing will look right, you will be a) cranky b) unhappy c) anxious and d) all of the above. Enter your dress fitting with a positive attitude and a big smile on your face. Because of course, a smile is a girl’s best accessory and this why I trust that you will look radiant Emily.. no matter what.
Best,
Hannah Katy