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Choosing Your Attendants
One of the biggest decisions you’ll make when it comes to planning your wedding (aside from your choice of groom, of course!) is who to choose to be your attendants—and how best to do it. In today’s day and age, sisters, siblings, and second-cousins-once-removed may all be on the shortlist, in addition to your own dear friends. Narrowing it down to a reasonably sized group can be challenging, so I thought I’d offer my thoughts in hopes of possibly helping other brides-to-be.
When deciding on bridesmaids and a maid of honour, I believe the most important thing is to think about what you feel the roles represent. I believe it’s an honourable position, reflective of a person’s importance in your life—not just on your wedding day. I chose people I know have been there through thick and thin before there was even talk of a wedding, and I know will be there through the good times and the bad for the rest of the marriage. It’s great to have somebody who’ll hold your flowers while you make the biggest promises of your life, or hold up your dress in a tiny bathroom stall after one too many Starbucks—but it’s better to be able to share the most amazing day of your life with the people who’ll still be there if you and your hubby have a fight, or who’ll jump for joy when you decide to start a family.
I know of many brides who’ve succumbed to pressure from mothers/aunts/future-mother-in-laws, and have been talked into asking their fiancé’s sister’s-best-friends to stand up in place of their own. It’s a difficult situation in which to say “no” —but it’s important to remember that this is your celebration, and standing up there with you should be the people you can count on for life.
Once you’ve made your wedding party decisions, however, you may be left with a few people you really would like to include in being a part of your big day. I certainly have a few, and David and I are currently looking for alternate roles which will make these people feel valued and responsible—but won’t hinder their enjoyment of the celebration. Let’s face it—guest books and cakes can look after themselves, and I’d much rather my friends were able to enjoy the festivities without being tied to a table!
Right now, we’re thinking of a few things:
- Ceremony readings: An important part of the ceremony, but I know first-hand how intimidating it can be, and we don’t want to instigate any anxiety or stage fright!
- Walking grandparents down the aisle: I personally don’t have any extended family here in Canada, but David’s is full of wonderful people. This way, the whole family can be honoured in walking down the aisle.
- Witnesses to signing the marriage license
- Candle lighting: We’re undecided on what sort of unity ceremony we may have, but even if it doesn’t include candles, our priest (and good friend) loves the idea of a candle-lit ceremony—a time consuming role, but hopefully one that could be tackled by a group—who would hopefully be happy to see their hard work create such a beautiful atmosphere!
What are your thoughts on wedding party inclusion, and alternative roles for those not directly in an attendant position?
Tags: blogger search, bridesmaids, maid of honour, traditional, wedding party
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