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bride again
Traditionally Untraditional
My beautiful mom trying her best to smile through the pain. They’ll be celebrating 32 years together.
My mom has always been the strength in my life. She may be tiny—standing at a whopping 4’11″—but boy can she make you shake in your booties when she’s angry. But she’s also a comedian whose laugh is contagious and we’re very close. One night, my mom and I were going through her things to see which pieces Mark and I could use in our wedding—I’m a little bit sentimental that way— and we got to talking about her wedding. “Look at my pictures, I’m so mad!” she says as I’m looking through her things. “Why would you be mad mom? You should’ve been happy!” Sure enough, some of her photos show her dressed beautifully in a white gown but with a huge frown. “Oh I was happy! It’s just that your Titas (aunts) made me put coins in my shoes! I was in pain from having to wear high heels to catch your dad (she meant so she wouldn’t be dwarfed by him), and in even more pain because I was stepping on coins, ALL DAY!” This led to a long conversation about traditions and superstitious beliefs that have been handed down through our family.- Coins in the bride’s shoe; my mom was told by her sisters that this symbolized prosperity.
- It is bad luck to try on your wedding dress and shoes. They say that it’s like “counting your chickens before they’ve hatched.” During the wedding ceremony:
1. The candle sponsors will light a candle (as described in a previous post of mine), that represent the bride and groom. Should one of those flames burn out during the ceremony, the corresponding individual will likely die first.
2. When the priest asks the couple to stand up or kneel down, the bride should always do so before her husband. This is to ensure that the husband is not completely dominant over her—a wish for an equal partnership.
My mom and I laughed the whole time discussing these very old superstitions. I found quite a few more on this blog that had me nodding at having heard them before. Do I believe or will I do any of these?
- The coins in the shoes would be too painful even though, unlike mom, I will be wearing ballerina flats; so that’s not happening.
- As for the wedding dress, I guess it’s too late for that since I’ve already tried on my dress. It’s a good thing I don’t believe in that specific superstition. I do believe—and Mark agrees—that he shouldn’t see me in my dress until the ceremony. That’s more of a want as opposed to a superstition.
- I’m not too sure how I feel about the candle light symbolizing who will die first; that would be the last thing on my mind on our wedding day.
- I don’t think I’ll have any issues with dominance from Mark because our relationship has always been balanced.
In my previous blog—Go Big or Go Home—I described some of the Filipino traditions that Mark and I will be incorporating into our Roman Catholic wedding ceremony so I thought I’d continue with even more traditions.
Bouquet Toss
There really isn’t a tradition here; it’s more of an observation worth sharing. When the DJ or MC announces the bouquet toss, all the women go in hiding. I kid you not. Women decide to employ the “If-I-don’t-make-eye-contact-I-won’t-be-called-on” strategy. *I see you! Nodding your head and giggling—you’ve done this before haven’t you!! * After some coercing, the bridesmaids make their way to the dance floor to help encourage all the single women to come up. Once the bouquet is finally tossed—it’s like the red sea parting—all the women scatter AWAY from the bouquet as if it were the plague. After much giggling, the bouquet is then forced into the hands of the woman that is secretly being set up with the guy who caught the garter. Sneaky match making skills hey?
Pièce de Résistance
The liveliest part of the evening; the garter toss. The music begins, “I’ve been really trying, trying to hold back this feeling, for sooooo long and if you feel, like I feel baby.. let’s get it on…” This is the part of the whole wedding that grooms are dreading! Not so much the act of removing the garter from his wife’s thigh in front of so many eyes, but in dreaded anticipation of what he knows is coming after the toss. All the men gather—single or not—around the groom, roll up their sleeves and start pushing each other making primal battle noises. The DJ or MC counts down and the groom is nervously gripping onto that garter for dear life. 3-“God please make this painless.” 2-“If I run now will they catch me?” 1-“Help!” The garter is thrown. Like it was in slow motion, there’s a moment of peace on the groom’s face before the harsh reality slips in and he is tackled to the ground by brute force. Men crowding around the groom, the groom scrambling to get loose and for a brief moment he thinks he’s free. Then someone grabs his shoe, then another. Within seconds, the grooms shoes are flung in opposite directions, someone’s claimed his pants, swinging it in sweet victory above his head and the poor groom is left standing—in his underwear. Sounds a little rough right? Well I guess once a groom’s been through it, the next wedding is payback—men!
Weddings are a time to celebrate the new couple and wish them well in their new marriage and for us, it’s also a great day filled with tradition and crazy antics. There’s never a dull moment and we are really excited for our big day!
Does your family/culture have some unique wedding traditions and/or superstitions? Please share them with me as I’m always so fascinated by other family and cultural traditions.
Tags: blogger search, bouquet toss, bride again, culture, garter toss, superstition, traditions
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Sorry everyone for the late response – been very ill for almost a week. But I’m back!
Casey: OMG! I had sent in a photo of the wedding July and I were in last fall where the groom wore under armour pants with a purple thong on top, but it was too risqué a photo to post…hehe. I hope you’re not laughing too hard on our wedding day – I’d very much like a picture of Mark in whatever creative thing he thinks of to avoid or play along with the garter toss. Yup I agree! I think I’ll take my chances with the coin the thing…. Haha.
Flowers Vancouver: Thank you for the comment! I hope you’ll have a chance to one day experience a traditional Filipino wedding.
Oh I’d love to be part of such native and cheery kind of wedding. There’s a good sense of humbling pastoral lifestyle in this kind of family occasion. Nice feature.
hahaha Judith you shouldve told me this was your next piece as I have an amzing shot of a groom with his pants being pulled down and the bride covering him up with her dress hahaha sooooo funny…. I love it!
Great post I love hearing about all the different traditions and superstitions… I don’t care what kind of luck comes from puttting coins in your shoes, I would rather deal with the bad luck then sore feet :)
Rodillo: The stepping on the feet was another one mom told me about but I couldn’t quite understand what she was saying because we were laughing too hard. LOL! How does one remember these things when you’re dumbfounded with happiness? Plus I wouldn’t want to start our marriage on the wrong foot… haha.
Thanks for all your support! <3
Coins in your shoes on your wedding day would make any bride pout ;) Looking forward to seeing the pic of you and Mark on your wedding day!
I like the topic of your blog, I ended up doing a search on Filipino wedding superstitions. Check this out: http://www.weddingsatwork.com/culture_folklore.shtml
This was interesting…
“The bride should ‘accidentally’ step on the groom’s foot while walking towards the altar if she wants him to agree with her every whim. “
Oh my dearest brother-pinsan, how I miss you and your beautiful girls! Thank you so much for all your love and support from so many kilometres away. We’ve been through so much together and I’m so proud of you. You’ve always been there for me regardless of the distance and I truly appreciate it. You know me, my stress is always momentary and usually self-inflicted.. LOL! I need to stop ‘biting off more than I can chew’. Please send my love to your beautiful wife. To my darling God Daughter, please shower her with kisses and smother her with squishies…
<3 Isang.Mahal <3
Dearest Judith!
To my beloved sister, pinsan! I’ve finally read all of your Blog Entries, and I’m so excited for you! I don’t anyone who deserves this more than you! I wish the “The Gardiolas” could be there for every step. Brooky sends her smile-drool! Try not to stess AS much. Hehe.We love you! See you soon! Kisses to July and Props to Mark for keeping his word! =)
Aww Lai! Thank you! You’re so sweet :).
Love the pic of your parents! You’re as beautiful as your mom!
Nette: You’re hilarious! I told Mark about the scuba gear and he did his usual giggle. I’ve seen grooms use duct tape before but can you imagine getting that off? RRRRIIIIPPPP! HAHA. Guess we’ll find out in a few months. Thanks for everything my dear – Love ya babe!
Canada Flower: Mark and I have a very large extended family so our guest list was the very first task we had to tackle. Unfortunately, we had to keep our list down to first cousins, God Parents, God Children and their families, a few coworkers and our closest friends. “Sukob sa taon” is something we knew about growing up. Mark and I chose our wedding date carefully because his sister’s wedding is next year and so is my brother’s. We’re safe :). Thanks for the comment!
A traditional Filipino wedding always involves a large extended family so I hope you got the whole people well accommodated and pulled off the entire event well. The FIlipino tradition mentioned by Caren in the post above is called Sukob, and it’s really an eerie kind of belief so you should try to look into it more.
This is actually a tip for Mark, but I have seen this done before. A groom wore a scuba suit under his suit for the exact reason you wrote about! It was hilarious!!!! So Mark, you might want to invest in a skin tight scuba suit for the big day! Or even some masking tape, to tape your under garments to yourself! LMAO
Great post Judith! Your topics always enlighten everyone and shed light into your real world!
Emily: I love that you found a 100 year old sixpence – that’s wonderful! I think the blessing of the coins in our wedding ceremony is enough of a ‘hope for prosperity’ for us, plus it wouldn’t be fun to dance with coins in your shoes and I’m a HUGE fan of dancing ;). Great minds think a like!
Jennifer: That’s neat – I guess it’s a great incentive NOT to have your wedding close to a siblings’ wedding. I’d hate to miss out on my brothers’ wedding :(. Thanks for sharing!
Similarly to the other post, in my culture the superstition is that if you get married within 30 days of another family member, each couple cannot attend the other’s wedding or it’s bad luck.
Haha so funny we wrote about the same thing this week! That’s interesting that your culture has a sixpence in the shoe as well, but has a different meaning. Instead of putting it IN my shoe I think I’m just going to tape it to the bottom! :)
AGREED! There are some superstitions that have me giggling but there are others that are not worth the chance right? Mark and I actually discussed our wedding ‘year’ only minutes after the proposal because of this superstition – I too would rather not take a chance.. Who would’ve thought that there’d be two engagements in each family all in the same year? But given how close we are, even if there were hardships, there’s always our family to soften the hardship. CHEESEBALL! haha!
We’ll both live STUPENDOUS lives – I’m happy to be marrying in to your family :). Luv ya!
I should add – I want us to both live gRRReat lives!
Lubs you!
Great post Judith!
Another superstition that I’ve heard is that you shouldn’t get married the same year as a sibling. Why? Well, they claim that this would make one couple suffer hardship, while the other couple lives a fine and dandy life.
I rarely believe in superstition, but I’ll have to admit, this is one reason we aren’t getting married the same year as you and Markies. I don’t want to take the chance. ;)