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Social Studies
One of the things that make Manitoba and its social scene quite unique is something that most provinces don’t normally do: the wedding social. If you have family, friends or have lived in Manitoba, I’m sure you’re quite aware that the wedding social is just like snow to Manitoba; they come hand-in-hand. In talking to some friends who were born and raised in beautiful British Columbia I realized that the whole concept of having a social is very misunderstood to outsiders. So here is an insider look at “The Winnipeg Wedding Social.”
A wedding social is one big party with food, drinks (non-alcoholic and alcoholic), silent auctions and sometimes entertainment. While a wedding social is normally held to raise funds for your wedding, it would also give Mark and me a chance to party with everyone as we are blessed with a huge family and many friends; raising funds is just a bonus.
I’ve put together some wedding social planning tips which I’ve recently learned as we’re heavy into our social planning.
Venue
When looking for a venue for a social, be sure to ask the following:
- What is the capacity (as stated by the Liquor Control Commission)?
- When are you able to have the venue for set-up time? This is important to know as there are many things that require setting up; the DJ equipment, auction prizes, food and ticket selling tables as well as any decorations
- What is included in the cost of the venue rental? For example: cups, ice, bartenders (and how many), set-up, take-down, alcohol drink mix, security, etc.
- Is outside food allowed in the venue?
- Do you have use of a kitchen?
These are just a few important questions to ask when searching for a wedding social venue. Mark and I knew which venue we wanted as we’ve been to quite a few over the years. The venue we decided on has ample free parking, it’s quite spacious and dealing with the manager has been great. Did I mention that capacity is 600?
Silent Auction Prizes
Silent auction prizes can be acquired through many different means: purchasing prizes yourself, accepting wedding party donations and approaching local businesses for prizes. Mark and I have decided to purchase the “Ultimate Grand Prize” as well as a few other prizes. We’ve also been quite fortunate to have many members of our wedding party volunteer to make a donation. When approaching local businesses for prizes, it’s a good idea to give them a donation letter when you introduce yourself. The donation letter typically has the following information in it: what the social is for and for whom, when does it take place, what you are asking for, contact information and a sample of your social ticket.
The prizes can range quite a bit; from a perfume basket and a lottery tree all the way to a front loading washer and dryer, to a car! I don’t know how either of the last two prizes are feasible, but I’ve seen it! Here’s a list of the typical prizes:
- Regular prizes: camping package, golf package, his and her packages, etc
- Grand prizes: big screen TV, gaming consoles, airline gift certificates, etc
You’re probably wondering what our “Ultimate Grand Prize” is? I guess you’ll have to just come out to our social and see. Hehe!
Food
A wedding social is not complete without food. The typical food fare for wedding socials are trays of cold cuts, veggies and dips and little finger sandwiches. Throw in the flare of our Filipino culture and you get a near endless buffet of yummy dishes stretching many long tables; very typical for a Winnipeg-Filipino wedding social. The food alone is well worth the cost of the ticket (which is normally $10). Curious about the spread? Well get ready for a mouth watering list: egg rolls, pancit (Filipino noodles), ensemada (butter and sugar covered pastries), fried rice, fried chicken and the list goes on and on. As both our families don’t show up to a party empty handed, they will be providing and coordinating our scrumptious feast. Another option would be to approach food vendors with your donation letter and ask if they’d be willing to donate a tray of food.
A sample of our social ticket.
The Party
The DJ will be spinning amazing tracks all throughout the night. Having a great time helping to sell alcohol, prize tickets and 50/50 tickets, our wedding party will be seen looking fresh in their custom designed, easy-to-spot matching T-shirts. It’ll be one great celebration with a bit of rowdiness, a lot of laughter and lots of dancing.
A wedding social is quite a lot of planning, possibly almost as much as the wedding itself, but in the end, it’s worth it. Ours will be a chance to celebrate our upcoming marriage with everyone who has ever been a part of our lives. Manitobans are quite a generous lot and when someone gets married, it’s a community event. We band together and support each other in any way possible—THIS is what Manitobans do!
There’s just one last detail that I’m still flipping and flopping about: Should Mark and I get dressed up in formal attire to stand out from the crowd or should we go casual and comfy? I’m leaning towards shorts and a custom Tee with funky sneakers but my girls want me to get dolled up. What do you say?
*Thank you to our best man, Wesly and his wife—our bridesmaid Elirose, for letting me use photos from their social. A special thank you to Caren and my SB girls as well—many thanks xoxo!
Tags: blogger search, bride again, prize, silent auction, venue, wedding social, winnipeg
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I’m usually on the lookout for really attractive clubbing gown that can be utilised for going clubbing. Immediately after all, there’s absolutely nothing worse than choosing a dress you appreciate and then obtaining to assume I ought to of bought it in advance of!
Suzane: Right! Stag and Doe’s! Since this post I’ve been learning so much about what other provinces have (or don’t have) and I find it fascinating. I think that when your city does observe the wedding social or stag and doe’s it’s so ingrained in the city/province’s culture that it’s just another way of life and there’s nothing negative about it. We are excited about our social and so are so many of our friends and family. Thank you for your comment and happy planning! I’d love to hear how it all turned out :).
I totally understand the concept of a social. Here in London, Ont we refer to them as Stag and Doe’s and they’re really popular. We were thinking of not having one (due to the time/planning) and had so many friends/family asking when we were having one we decided to go ahead with it! Its not all about the money, either. We have a lot of people coming who want to come out and party with us but unfortunately can’t be at the wedding (can’t afford a wedding of over 400 people). They know that, are fine with that, and still want to support us, hence coming to the stag (social)! No need to try to be insulting -saying its a “cash grab” is just a sneaky way of implying people are cheap and manipulative, which is not the case when everyone is aware of the purpose of the event and the guests have the choice of whether or not to contribute. Its just a great party and people don’t have to agree, but don’t be haters! :)
Sorry ladies for the hiatus – was enjoying spring break with my daughter and we had a blast!
Trinidy: I too have seen quite a few opinions regarding wedding socials in the wedding forums. You’re right, it is a socially acceptable event for Manitobans and while it isn’t for everyone (I know a few friends who are choosing not to host one), it’s the right choice for us. Thanks for your comment!
Kwt: Glad you joined the party :)…hehe. The silent auction prizes are also my favourite part and every now and then, Mark and I get lucky and walk away with a prize package and if not, eh, the proceeds went to help a friend. MmMm.. the food! Always something to look forward to! Mark’s not a dancer either nor does he drink too often – I on the other hand love ripping up the dance floor – but like you said, we choose the socials we go to and even if we buy a ticket and not go, our $20 went to support the couple (yes we do purchase tickets just to support). Thank you kindly for your honest opinions; they are very much appreciated.
Thank you to everyone for your comments. The amount of love and support that we’ve gotten here and in person has been greatly appreciated by Mark and me.
<3 IsangMahal.OneLove <3
This post is late to the party, I have been behind in keeping up on these blogs, but I felt compelled to comment. I’m a born and raised Manitoban and a wedding social is just a way of life around here. It’s a personal choice on behalf of the bride and groom on whether they want to host one (it’s a lot of work and stress putting one together) but there’s absolutely no negative connotation to having a social in Manitoba if you choose to have one. (And no negative connotation if you choose not to have one either.) I find it disappointing that people are being very judgmental about the whole thing just because it’s not part of their culture. It’s the same as judging someone for any other cultural tradition. Just because it’s not *your* tradition doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it.
Many people who are having a bigger wedding have one, especially when they have large family and friends. It’s not a “cash grab” at all (some couples barely break even with the costs)… in fact, the work that goes into preparing for one is not often worth the profit that a couple might make, so if they’re doing it just for the money, then that’s crazy. Besides, a ticket costs you $10 max (you can barely see a movie for that these days) and it covers the cost of the hall, food, some prizes (silent auction is my favourite part of a social!), and with any luck there is some profit made for the couple to put towards wedding expenses when it’s all said and done. At a Filipino social like Judith’s (I’ve been to a few of those), heck, the meal alone is worth more than $10. I couldn’t go to a Filipino restaurant and get a meal like that (or that good) for that price. In fact, I could probably get a bunch of friends to go out to Judith’s social who don’t even know her, just by telling them it’s a Filipino social because they know they’ll get a good meal out of it. :)
And just for some context, understand that I am personally not a fan of socials because I’m not much of a dancer or a drinker and I generally don’t enjoy large, crowded parties, but that is *my* personal preference and doesn’t mean I would ever judge a bride and groom for having or not having one. The choice to attend or not to attend is mine alone, and when I choose to go it’s usually because I care about the people hosting it and it’s my way to be part of their wedding experience.
For people with lots of family and friends, a social is also a very socially acceptable way for the couple to include friends in their wedding celebration who may not be invited to the actual reception or wedding (as all you brides well know, there’s no way you could have every person you know at a wedding and still make it manageable, you have to make choices and the reality is that some friends and acquaintances just won’t be on the guest list). I have been to lots of socials for friends that I’m not quite close enough to make the guest list on the wedding, but still want to congratulate on their wedding. So for $10 (which helps cover the cost of facilities for the party, food, alcohol, etc. and hopefully something left over as a boon for the bride and groom) and no gift or expectation beyond that, I get to support them and be included in their wedding in some way. And if I don’t want to go, then that’s my choice too and no one would judge me for not going.
I’m from Alberta and never heard of these type of parties until recently, while posting on various wedding forums, and I have to admit, it left quite a sour taste on other posters mouths. Mainly because they are un-familiar to these sorts of traditions. But, hey, If it’s common in your area and socially acceptable, go for it! It’s nice to get a more insder/depth look as to what and how it happens.
Thanks Heather! They are a lot of fun and I can’t wait :).
I think a Wedding Social sounds like a lot of fun! It seems like a great way to help a couple start up a little wedding fund too. In Toronto, I’ve usually heard them called Jack & Jills. I don’t think they are as common in the big cities, but the one I went to was really fun! I loved all the games and prizes.
Allison: I do find it interesting that something so ingrained in the culture could be non-existent a few provinces over. I love hearing how different cultures and different places celebrate weddings – it’s fascinating to me. Thank you for your comment!
Jennifer: Thank you so much for your encouragement.
Mai: I totally forgot to mention that back when my parents got married – here in Winnipeg – they used to call it a “Stag and Shower”. It’s going to be so much fun! Mark and I have been to quite a few over the years and it’s just great to know my little donation helped a couple. Thank you for your words of encouragement; nothing’s going to bring me down from the high of this whole wedding experience – I’m having a blast!
Holly: You’ll just have to make your way down to Winnipeg for mine then :)..hehe. Or I’ll come visit next time I’m in BC. Thanks!
Carrie: Oh wow! I had no clue that you were a ‘Pegger! Then it definitely would make sense – it’s just what we do right? Any chance you’re coming home to visit friends and family say…around June? Hehe. Next time you’re in town we’ll need to get together. I adore your newest post by the way.
Thanks for all the sweetest everyone!
Hi Judith!
Wow! I just read through the comments and was shocked! I read your post before and thought-”FUN! I know what that’s all about” (I am from Winnipeg too!-moved to Edmonton for school). I think a social is a great thing. We all could use some help financially with our weddings and our friends and families go out for food and clubbing and pay for it anyway-why not have the money go to their loved ones instead? Makes perfect sense to me.
Anyway, I’m sure it will be a blast for everyone who attends-wish I could come! :)
Sounds like such a fun time.. i wish it was more popular here in bc!
i love the wedding social ticket judith!
Judith, your social sounds an awful lot like a Stag and Doe or Buck and Doe. TONS of people I know who have gotten married have these socials and I think it’s a great way for people to get together, have a good time AND at the same time, raise some additional funds to help with wedding costs. It’s not like you are forcing people to attend and it is completely up to them what they spend at the event. Plus, they can win great prizes! I figure it is no different than going out drinking and dropping a hundred bucks or so at a bar, club, etc.
Good luck! Don’t let the negative commenters discourage you!
Judith, good for you! I found your last post to be very classy. I wish you all the best.
Interesting! I’ve never heard of this before… it’s strange how it could be so popular in Manitobe and just two provinces over (I’m in Alberta) I don’t think anyone would have any clue about it.
[...] Studies | Weddingbells.ca 16 03 2010 Social Studies | [...]
My first and last comments to those with anything negative to say: I am saddened that writing about something that is quite a common event throughout my life (yes, even as a kid my brothers, cousins and I were there to support other couples) could be taken as something so negative. Thank you for your opinions because we would not be human if we did not have differing opinions and it is through negativity that I am humbled and touched by the love and support that my family and friends have shown me and my fiancé.
To my faithful supporters – I LOVE YOU MAN! He he. Nothing will bring me down from the happiness of sharing my upcoming wedding with all of you! Meet me at the dance floor with drinks in hand and we’ll tear it up! “This is how we do it!!..” [insert Judith’s dance moves here]
Let’s keep it light and fresh everyone! xoxo
<3 IsangMahal (OneLove) <3
Its really too bad that there is so much negetivity on this whole contest! Ive gone through and read some of the other brides blogs entries and it seems to be the same people who have nothing better to do with their time but to put others down.
It’s one thing to give your opinion, but its another thing to be completly disrespectful and hurtful in attempt to make whoever your friend is blogging look better. I hope you negetive peeps out there realise that your negetive comments don’t go towards negetive votes for the blogger. SO if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t waste your time upsetting the bloggers that are trying to have fun and share their planning with everyone.
Support your friends by voting for them, not by cutting the other bloggers down.
I think all the bloggers are doing a great job, and you are all strong women! Keep it up, ignore the bad comments and thrive on the good positive ones!
Judith keep up the great blogs and I think its grat how you comment and support every other blogger in this contest! You are such a great person!
Rodney – thank you, yes Sophie is a friend but I have nothing to do with any of the other negative commenters – we’ve been to socials that are lots of fun, we just have personal reasons for not having one, that’s all – and I may even be attending Judith’s! :) Let’s just all keep it nice and be happy for the people who have so much support in their lives :)
Judith I think you are going to have a blast!
I am from BC and socials or buck and doe’s as I know them are not common at all. I however have been to one and thought it was great. Everyone getting together to have a big party, what can be better then that?
I think each person will have their own opinion but I know that you would not look down on them for not having one so keep your head held high!
It will be a great night with your friends and family who are there to support you and your FH as you start your life together.
To all the positive posts, you all have been great at being nice and civil, but I know you’re all screaming inside. But I’m going to say what everyone is thinking. I will try to be civil as well, but no promises.
To all the negative comments, especially Sophie, we understand you’re from England and I see you’re not naming names, but from what I understand Emily is originally from England as well. So I understand why you’re praising her in your comment but at the same time putting down Judith. If you don’t understand the concept of a social, that’s fine. It’s something done in Manitoba only from what I understand and Judith’s post was to give the world insight into our culture. We don’t bash the English for having tea time everyday do we? No we don’t because it’s your culture and we respect your way of life. I understand the comparison is kind of extreme, but my point is the same.
Now to all the negative comments in general, every wedding has a shower, bridal shower, whatever shower. Are you going to tell me those are cash/gift grabs as well? Because all the negative things you’ve said can be applied to those as well. So basically, you’re putting down every single wedding that ever was or ever will be.
They call it FRIENDLY MANITOBA for a reason. We have a great community where we all support each other. We have friends that will go out of their way to help us and we do the same for them. When we have socials, the entourage always steps up to help the wedding couple. These are the friends and family we’re proud to have in our lives.
So I sympathize with all the negative people out there who don’t have these kinds of people in their lives. Or don’t have the respect for other cultures and have to put them down. I can see why you’re all so negative and crabby.
I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion and these words are all my opinion (and maybe everyone else’s). So please, all the negative folks out there, if you read this, don’t respond. You’re probably going to just spew out more negativity that we don’t need to read.
To Emily, I wasn’t trying to offend, from what I hear you’re a really nice person. You’re followers have a real problem with having respect for others though.
To Judith…smile =)
Did you ask your guests to contribute financially to your wedding the first time around too?
Sorry, here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi2fVTkIcRk
Searched Winnipeg Wedding Social on youtube.com and found the link above. Manitoba can Paaarty!
Ya I agree with Marilyn….
Socials are great ! I always have a blast….
It’s not really any different than going to a bar a paying a cover charge !! And drinks are cheaper at a social and you are surrounded by friends ! nothing better than that !
Like Marilyn said, it’s family, friends, friends of friends etc so you aren’t “stuck” doing something you don’t want to do, you want to help your family/friends out anways.
Maybe Manitoban’s are just bigger partiers! HA HA…
Also, It’s just a nice way to celebrate and help out the couple if you can’t go to the wedding too…
I second that :) I’ve worked a few socials actually and its quite fun, your mingling having a great time. Plus at the end of the night you know the time you spent “behind a counter” was for a great cause, and a great couple! I know how it feels being stuck behind a desk, so I can appreciate being stuck behind a counter and having fun.
For all the times Judith you spent volunteering at Colleges the CIBC Breast Cancer run, Dragonboat and any other charity you worked on (I know I’m missing lots, you’ve done so much), here’s a chance for us to repay the favor! No one will ever know how hard you and Mark have worked to put on 2 great nights (the social and wedding day) but this night gives us the opportunity to work beside someone so deserving!
Luv you lots!
I’m from Morden and so I have been to a fair amount of socials in MB. And honestly… I tend to roll my eyes when I get invited to one. It’s always the same music, the wedding party gets roped into going to either buy stuff for the prizes or solicit stuff from vendors (trust me I’ve also been in the wedding party a couple of times), or rotating door coverage/alcohol serving… I just don’t feel comfortable and I know many people feel the same way. If you can’t pay for your wedding you shouldn’t expect other people to help pay for it, especially if they are already contributing a standard $50 or so to a wedding gift! I can see why this is a strictly Manitoba thing – we are known for being “frugal” aren’t we, “discount capital” so I guess we’re known for trying to be as cost-conscious as possible… I just think its a little tacky IMO. I won’t be having a social when I get married, only because I don’t feel it’s right asking guests to contribute and asking our friends to ‘work’ – they’re going to enjoy the celebration with us anyway at the reception!
I missed out on the social scene. TO doesn’t know what it’s missing. Now I’m totally craving ensamada ;) Your social will be a blast capacity of 600 ppl?! You’ll definitely want to be comfy the entire night. Wear what best suits you and Mark. Afterall, you’ll be all glammed up on your big day!
In Manitoba when you hear of people getting married, your first question is often, “When is the social?” It’s not a “cash grab” – people you know invite people they know and so on and so on…. It’s a great reason to get together, dance, have fun, mingle, meet new people or reconnect with old friends and possibly win some fabulous prizes. Your social ticket price basically covers your admission to the hall (the couple didn’t get it for free) which gets you cheaper prices on alcoholic beverages than most drinking establishments. Social and bridal shower??? Come on, that’s hardly a comparison!! And you rotate people behind the bar and selling tickets so you definitely aren’t “stuck” doing it all night. For all you naysayers – don’t knock it til you try it! Socials are FUN!
also being stuck selling tickets and stuck behind a counter selling drinks doesn’t really sound like “having a great time”. & asking local businesses for free stuff too?
not sure i get the point of a social either, so i take it you’re not having a bridal shower then? or is it another thing where ppl will have to give you money/gifts? personally i would feel a bit tacky asking my guests to contribute to a party, if you wanted to celebrate with them surely you’d want to treat them not expect them to pay AND give you a present at the wedding?
Good luck with your social. We just had ours last sunday. And you are right on with the fact that it takes a lot of planning, but it sure is a lot of fun too! I think you should get dressed up a little bit. You don’t have to get completely dolled up in a fancy dress but maybe wear something a little bit more dressed up than usual. But the most important thing though is how you want to feel and how you want to look. If dressing more casual is more your personality than I say go for it.
Good luck again!
Caren: I guess it would be more of a surprise if he DIDN’T break out into Karaoke.
Sophie: It’s definitely a Manitoban thing. A wedding social is a time to support the happy couple and is really no different than attending a bridal shower with a gift (in this case it’s monetary). While this was right for me and Mark, it’s not for everyone. Thank you for your comment.
Nancy: Thanks for the greeting.. it will be a blast!
Casey: I was totally thinking that as I was writing it! Great MTS commercial! Can’t wait to see you there and maybe we can recreate the “Eleventeen Pose” with me in it.. haha! You’re so funny. I wasn’t serious about my “Mad Hatter” hat.. but it would be funny..
Nette: No doubt it’s social season! I have another one in two weeks and then it’s one right after another! Fun times most definitely! I’m glad you’ll be a huge part of my social and you had me singing that song! I know you want me dressed up but I guess we’ll see. Thanks love, for everything and thanks in advance for the help that evening.
Thanks for all the support ladies.
Cheers! It is social season!!! Isn’t it crazy that even our own great province will be hosting a social this year?
I love socials, and cannot wait to participate in yours!!
I love attenting and supporting any couple who decides to host a social, and its so much better than going to the club. I get food with my social ticket and not just “entrance” into a bar. Plus you get to see all the hard work that is put into one amazing night!
Great food + great company = I got a feeling, its gonna be a good night! ;)
I don’t sing karaoke, that’s all you’ll get outta me, LOL!
I say dress up woman!!!
too funny Casey. Mad Hatter hats with flashing lights…you definitely won’t be missed. lol.
oh and my bad that was you who said a mad hatter theme… sorry Caren props are taken from you and given to Judith hahha
oh and my bad that was you who said a mad hatter theme… sorry Caren props are taken from you and given to Judith hahha
hahah this reminds me of the new MTS commercial where the dude from Saskatchewan who is pretending to be a manitoban says ” Lets go hit up a social ” hahaha love it…
I think you should totally dress casual and wear something fun like Caren said to stand out. t-shirts for the entourage are always a great way to recognize where the silent auction and 50/50 tix are!
Got my ticket already and cant wait it will be lots of fun!
Yes, it may sound absurd to some as socials aren’t known in other places, but here in Manitoba, it’s fairly popular.
I’m sure if you were in this province, you’ve attended a social before and had a time of your life SUPPORTING the happy couple.
For the previous poster who isn’t having a social, good for you. To each their own I say.
Have a blast Judith at your social!
I would be surprised if your dad DIDN’T break out into karaoke.
I’d never heard of a “social” before we don’t have them in England, & it seems like a bit of a cash grab if your actually charging people to attend your party – if it was really just to enjoy a fun night with them why wouldyou charge them??? maybe I just don’t get it cause I’m not from over there but i see there’s another bride in the compeition who is choosing not to do this “social”. i thought the hen night was for pre-wedding partying with your friends (and you dont charge them for that either!)
Caren: How about I wear a big “Mad Hatter” hat to help me stand out? Would that work? hehe.. just kidding. Yay! Only 3 more months and the party’s on! Can’t wait to see everyone, I still have yet to meet your whole side of the family. I just hope my dad doesn’t break out into Karaoke. :)
SOCIAL STUDIES…witty title!!
I agree with the rest, you and Mark should get dolled up. It’ll probably help your attendants distinguish you from the rest of the crowd.
Excited for the social….only 3 months to go! woohoo!
Lauren! You should come visit and party with us. Thanks for the advice – maybe I could get a fancier top and have the design somehow inked on? hmm.. now you have me thinking.. THANK YOU DEAR!
I vote dolled up, although you should probably wear the matching BP t-shirts over top (maybe in a complimentary colour?). Reading this week’s blog makes me wish I was from Manitoba….
No worries! Then people can see the pro’s and con’s right? Having a wedding social was right for us, but it may not be right for everyone. We’re pretty much in full swing of wedding social season, I think we have one to attend at least every other weekend :).
Thanks for the advice! Guess we’ll have to see which wins out – fancy versus comfy – hehe.
Uh oh, one of my later posts was going to be about why we’re NOT doing a social, lol!
I think you should get dolled up! I’ve been to a couple, and the bride-to-be has always been in a fancier dress and the fiancé in a suit. Plus it’s always fun to get dressed up :)