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Saying *sniffsniffBAWL* to the Dress
"Head light" dress – LOL!
One week after the Wonderful Wedding Show, on a beautiful winter morning, my girls and I (minus my mom because she was close to tears at the wedding show and couldn’t do it again) found ourselves at L.A. Collection—our first stop in my hunt. Julie, our consultant for the day, already had a dressing room ready—she had the dress I tried on at the Wonderful Wedding Show as well as a few dresses she pulled that were similar to that dress. Girls present: maid of of honour (MOH), my three best friends, my daughter and sister-in-law.
For months I’ve been looking at many dresses online and while I didn’t have exact dress styles & numbers, I had an idea of what I liked: a sweetheart neckline (to create the illusion that I was well endowed), a simple bodice, a corset closure in the back (for a customized fit over slimmer waist and motherly hips), rouching (to hide the result of years of happiness and a daughter), and a very different skirt and/or train to draw everyone’s attention down.
First dress: a beautiful white dress, fitted from bust to mid-hip, zippered, three very prominent roses cover the bust with many roses flowing down the side of the dress and through the train. Not a dress I would’ve pulled for myself, but I was game to try on anything.
Truth #1: Judith is not used to being the centre of attention
With sweaty palms and heart beating I draw the curtains and step out of the change room. *Anxiety attack beginning* I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes because of the awkwardness I felt. All eyes were on me and all I wanted to do was shrink and hide into a crack in the floor. “Step up on the pedestal so we can get a better look at the dress,” says Julie. Oh my word, are you serious? I hesitate and do as I’m told. I couldn’t bring myself to look at anything but the dress. I couldn’t even look at my face. What a strange feeling to have everyone watching me!!! The girls realize what’s wrong and respond, “Get used to it; everyone will be watching you on your wedding day!” Fair enough. After the initial anxiety, it was like playing dress up…weee!
Thoughts about the dress: I liked the rouching and the fit, but I wasn’t sure about the roses on my bust. Truthfully, I kept grabbing the two roses that were strategically placed on my bust and I commented, “These feel like head lights!” haha! After trying on a few dresses—the one from the wedding show, a very simple one (the one I thought was my style pre-shopping), one that was light in weight and pretty, one with LOTS of bling and accordion pleating in the bustle—I stood there on the pedestal saying, “These are all such beautiful dresses, but how do I know?”
In the fitting room, after Julie shimmies me out of dress five or six, she recommends that I try one of the dresses she pulled for me. Alone in the dressing room, I look at the dress in the garment bag and couldn’t help feel ‘eh’ about it. It had details that weren’t on my list of criteria. “Ok, if you say so,” I say to myself. I pull it out of the bag and I’m pleasantly surprised! It doesn’t look bad at all. So I yell for one of the girls to help me.
Pre-shopping dream dress.
Truth #2 – Judith has ‘wide load’ hips
All of the dresses I tried on, I couldn’t step into because my ‘thick’ hips and bottom prevented the dress from going on that way. They had to be put on by doing the ‘standing superman’—hands raised above my head while the dress is shimmied down. This requires help because those dresses are made up of MANY layers of material and requires lots of manoeuvring.
Truth #3 – Judith cries – ALL the time
Dress finally over my head, I look in the mirror and instantly I had to cover my face. The best friend who was tying me up thinks I’m laughing but when my hands come down, she realizes I’m bawling. “Oh no she’s crying!” I hear her say. I couldn’t help but remember what Mark had said the night before, “If you cry, you’ve found your dress.” Oh what a wonderful mess I was with mascara running about as fast as my heart was pounding. One look at myself and I knew this was the dress—after all, I had my ‘ugly crying face’ on!
Truth#4 – Judith is very indecisive and frugal
While the dress made me feel unbelievable, it was more than I had originally wanted to spend. Not much more, but enough to have my reservations (I have a hard time justifying paying more than $50 for shoes!). Can this really be it? Can I REALLY have found my dress? My reservations about my dress were part price and part knowing that this was the first store we went to. Will I find a slightly cheaper dress that will make me feel the way I do in this dress?
L.A. Collection was my first stop in my hunt, and my last. Their knowledgeable and very friendly staff made it such a great experience for my girls and me. There was never any pressure to buy and I was strongly encouraged to go to other stores and continue shopping. In the end, they worked with me to find a solution that would make me comfortable purchasing the dress. I could NOT have asked for a better experience. Thanks L.A. Collection, especially to Julie—you rock honey!
Crazy fun, right? But with my dress ordered, what should I do for my veil?
- Long and simple (no trim)
- Finger tip length with trim to match my dress
- Birdcage veil (like these ones modelled by the WB girls)
- No veil, just a fascinator (like this one from Etsy)
*You didn’t really think I would post picture of the dress did you? Silly..hehe!
Tags: blogger search, bride again, budget, shopping, wedding dress, winnipeg
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Judith,
I can’t wait to hear what you have in mind…when you decide to share that is.
I WISH I could ‘visit’ my dress, but it’s not in yet so I have a nicely printed color photo of it that I look at all the time :-) Hopefully I will be going for my first dress fitting in April. Fingers crossed.
YES! I got a wrist piece made to match my head piece and LOVE it. It’s a more delicate version of the head piece on a gorgeous 1.5″ organza ribbon with a stunning oversized Swarovski crystal as the centre. Will post that too in a couple of weeks.
Happy shopping!!!
Oh Theressa: You are so sweet to be searching for a Milliner for me! I’ll have to take a more closer look at that link but I’m pretty sure I stumbled across that when I was first wondering what a Milliner was.
I can’t wait to see your piece..I mean pieces! You had a wrist piece created? By the same Milliner? Now I’m thoroughly intrigued. I gushed at “..familiar heart skip happened again.” I know what you mean! Was just at LA Collections again and just had to ‘visit’ my dress :) only to have that same heart skip.
Yes you’re right, in the end it should be my decision and I *think* I know what I’m going for :).
Thanks for your support Theressa, it really means quite a lot to me.
Judith,
So long as the veil is what you want….then that’s what truly matters. I know our mothers can get caught up in the magic of it all,(even our future mother in laws, lol), but you are the one expressing yourself on this special day. Can’t wait to hear what you decide.
I have to wait a couple of more weeks before I can post anything, another fitting March 20th, as the designer wants it to be perfect, and I certainly can’t fault her for that. But I must say, when I had the head piece and wrist piece on, that familiar heart skip happened again.
I tried to find a Milliner in Winnipeg, and stumbled on this link:
http://www.destinationwinnipeg.ca/events-calendar/event/1024/mad-hatters-in-training
Talk about a great DIY opportunity, OR the opportunity to network and find someone who might be able to help.
Good luck!
Theressa,
I’m actually quite open about the style of veil. But when my mom saw my dress in a magazine and the model had a cathedral veil on, she loved how it looks together. I find it amazing that our fiance’s sometimes know us better than we know ourselves – I love it! I’ll have to check out that option because to be quite honest, I’ve never heard of a Milliner up until your comment so it’s definitely on my “to search” list. I’d love to see it when it’s done.
Thank you so much for telling me about your experience – I can’t wait to google “Milliner in Winnipeg”.
Judith,
For some reason I just was not sold on a traditional veil. I wanted something that was romantic and less traditional. I talked about head pieces with my fiance, discussing my stress and styles (i.e. tiara’s, head bands and ribbons, oh my) and must have googled every vendor on the planet looking for the right idea. It finally came to me at a bridal show when we stopped in at the vendors booth. I picked up a cage design and giggled at the thought, but my fiance insisted I try it on. Et voila, it was perfectly romantic, perfectly me. Of course what I tried and what was designed is somewhat different as I’ve worked with the Milliner over the past couple of months to perfect the look (I go for my final fitting this weekend!) I was also surprised at how affordable getting a custom head piece was. So I encourage everyone to look into this option. They are experts in the field and provided great advice to help create the head piece of my dreams. I was even able to incorporate a splash of color to tie into our theme. I’ve yet to try it with my dress (as the dress will only be in at the end of March early April) but I know it will look great together. I think, like your dress, it’s a representation of you and how you want to feel on your special day; traditional, romantic, edgy, etc., There’s no harm in trying on pieces before you get your dress, at least you get a sense of how things look and feel, and it gives you more options too: Some bridal shops carry a limited amount of head pieces so shopping around is good. Keep me posted on how your search goes too.
Theressa,
Thanks for the comment!
I find it so fascinating just how many brides end up with a dress that’s completely opposite to what they were hoping for. Personally, there are parts of my dress that I swore I wouldn’t ever wear. Turns out I was wrong. Reading how your heart skipped a beat just brought me back to when I tried on my dress.. what a strange feeling! To be moved by a piece of clothing, it’s crazy.
I’d love to hear how your fiancé gave you advice without knowing it. I’m so intrigued! I would love to see how your piece turns out. Did you try on veils with your dress before deciding? Or did you decide on a style and figure that they would work together regardless? I’m not sure if I should wait for my first dress fitting when I can try on veils at the same time before deciding. Yikes! Can anyone shed any light on this?
Thanks again for the comment my dear!
Wow, I know how you feel. I went shopping with my two best friends and mother in law to be. What I had in mind is sooo the opposite of what I actually chose. What I wound up with was a dress that my associate suggested I put on as a ‘joke’ to throw everyone off, and get some laughs going because I was stressed and tense (visibly I guess). But I think she could see right through me because when I put it on my heart skipped a beat. She had selected the perfect dress. I didn’t know what to do for a headpiece, this was my next biggest stress. It was my fiancé who helped relieve some of that by providing his creative input (without knowing or seeing the dress) and I am happy to say that I’m in the middle of working with a milliner who is custom designing my piece. It will actually be a cage design, something I never thought I’d wear, and her associate will be making me a matching wrist piece to boot!
Rodillo: I know right? Just an awkward feeling all together! I keep looking at the pictures of my dress over and over again and can’t help but be worried that it would not look the same on me as the dress I tried on (because it wasn’t my size). I guess we’ll find out in a few months.. yikes! Yes! I loved your hair and I would like to use that as the inspiration for my wedding – if you don’t mind. Thank you for the advice and for your support (even from so far away)! OH!! By the way, I made the move to wordpress last night.. ha ha!
Congrats Judith!
I totally understand how you felt when all eyes were on you. Nevermind the fact that you’re buying your wedding dress the attention alone is hard enough to deal with. But your girls are right – get used to it ;)
Don’t be surprised if you ‘forget’ what your dress looked like on you. You have to order them so far in advance that when you finally try on YOUR dress its like trying it on again for the very first time!
I’m all for ‘no veil’. For my wedding, I grew my hair super long, curled it (which is not easy for poker straight asian hair) and put in pearl type accent pins. But if you want the full traditional feel, go with the veil (the one that matches your dress).
So happy for you darling!!!
Lisa: There was an error in posting – thanks for the keen eye ;).
Judy: You tried dresses on alone? I was literally terrified that I couldn’t even look at dresses by myself – how ridiculous! Totally know what you mean! There were so many beautiful looking dresses but it just felt like someone else in the dresses..not ME. It was a crazy experience and I’m so happy to have shared it with all my girls! Are you kidding me? My family’s like yours: if it can be made, than it’ll be made! LOL! Whatever it is I choose it will be made :p.
Emily: LOL! Isn’t it headlights? hehe. OMGOSH.. we must plan for a lunch date after that then, I want to hear all about your post-alteration dress fitting! I got to try on my mommies veil that was a cathedral veil that went down to the floor – holy mama! Too bad it was too tarnished to fix.
Casey: Just curious – how are you going to be able to take awesome photos if you’re crying like a lunatic like me? LOL!! Just kidding! So far I’ve only tried on the longer veils and have yet to try on a bird cage veil. OOo.. I like your idea of doing both a fascinator AND a veil, that way I still have something in my hair post ceremony – love the idea!! OMG! You can’t possibly have an ugly crying face!
Carrie: NO WAY! I know Mark reads these (and just like most of my viewers, they’re afraid to comment) and I didn’t want to run the risk of him seeing it. Great call on the puffy sleeve picture – once again, great post! “It’s the only time in your life when you can wear a veil without people looking at you funny!” LOL!! I love that.. so true!
Thank you ladies for such great comments. It was a great experience and while I would’ve been fine walking down the isle in my sweats, tshirt and uggs, I figured that my wedding is the one and only time I can feel luxurious and beautiful without feeling pretentious. Oh no! Is Mark’s motto of “Go Big or Go Home” rubbing off on me?? hehehe.
<3 Salamat! <3
Judith
I’m glad you didn’t post your real dress! I was afraid you had and I was worried that your fiance would see it. I submitted a pic of my dress at first and then retracted it for the picture of the puffy sleeve instead. I’m sure the dress looks great on you though! I’m a big fan of veils, so I say go with a veil! It’s the only time in your life when you can wear a veil without people looking at you funny!
I’m sooo happy you had such a great experience!!! I can’t wait to take pictures of you as center of attention at your wedding!!!! Your going to be absolutely gorgeous!!!!
As for the veil I always LOVE the kind of photos you can get from the long and simple veil, but I also think that the birdcage one is super cool, and is defintly worth at least a “try-on” to see if it suits you. And of course any kind of fascinator would be beautiful aswell! You can always try to incorporate your fascinator with the veil if its just long and simple :)
and PS I have an ugly cry face too lol…
Oh my gosh I thought that was your dress from the thumbnail – it’s totally headlights!! lol :) I’m glad you had such fun and I can totally relate – I cried when I saw mine on too, and I’m going to be even worse in a couple of weeks when I go back and try it on post-alterations!!
I think it depends on what the dress looks like – I’m going for a veil, but just a plain one – I might be one of the only people in the world who *doesn’t* like beading/lace etc. around the edge, I just find it too distracting. I wish I’d thought of a fascinator, the more I see of them the more I like them. That’d be my vote :)
I did the same thing… Totally not used to being the center of it all, I tried on dresses for the first time alone. My biggest fear was that I would look strange in a wedding dress and not ME. I’m not fancy or a dress-up type (Judith, you know me and I’m sure you know the feeling) But once you get into the swing of things, it’s all good. I’m glad you found the dress of your dreams! It’s a great bonding experience for you and your girls :)
As for the veil thing, I’m going with a fascinator.I love the ones on Etsy too but I have opted to make it myself!
What does ‘mshoanoeuvring’ mean?