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bride again
Go Big or Go Home!
Photography courtesy Jerry Vergel Photography.
Big—it depends on who you talk to. Some say the bigger the better while others say that the smaller the more intimate. I was originally hoping for small and intimate but I ended up with a big one—wedding party and guest list of course! What did you think I was talking about? Ha ha!
Not only is “Go Big or Go Home” my future hubby’s motto—it also refers to the size of our wedding party and guest list. I’ve always wanted a small, intimate wedding and when Mark and I began planning our wedding, I realized it wasn’t going to happen. Before searching for a reception venue, we had to sit down and put together a rough guest list to figure out what size venue we needed. After counting my side of the family—which consisted of just my immediate family and first cousins—we were already over 100. After adding Mark’s side, mutual friends and a few coworkers, our first cut at our guest list was…dun dun dunnnnn…over 300—oh mama! What is that going to be like you may wonder? One big happy party! *I got a feeling..*[insert dance moves here]
“Go big or go home” #2: Wedding Party. Both of us are first generation Canadian so it was never a question if we were going to incorporate the Filipino traditions in our Roman Catholic ceremony. This meant that there would be a minimum of nine people added to the traditional western roles. Never been to a Filipino wedding ceremony? Here are the additional roles:
Principal Sponsors: These individuals will provide guidance to the newlywed in the ways of marriage. The men are referred to as Ninong (godfather) and the women, Ninang (godmother). Their role is very similar to that of godparents to a christened child. We have four pairs.
Photography courtesy Jerry Vergel Photography.
Secondary Sponsors: Preferably married couples. Each couple will perform a specific part of the traditional ceremony which is carried out one right after another (in order). We have three pairs (one pair for each):
Candle: Traditionally, the candle sponsors will light a candle on either side of the knelt bride and groom but it has since evolved to the lighting of one unity candle. The flame symbolizes God’s presence within the union. We have yet to decide on which variation we would like for our ceremony.
Veil: The veil sponsors drape the veil over the heads of the bride and groom. One side of the veil is attached to the shoulder of the groom and the other side to the bride. This symbolizes the clothing of the couple as one.
Photography courtesy Jerry Vergel Photography.
Chord: The chord sponsors drape the chord over the veil-covered bride and groom to bind them as one. The chord is in the shape of a figure eight.
Coin Bearer: This is done during the vow and ring exchange. The priest will bless the coins (arrhae) after which the groom will take the coins and hand them to his bride. This is a sign that he is committed to the well-being and future of his wife and future children. This can also be thought of as a dowry.
Arrhae
Add the best man, maid of honour, bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, junior groomsmen, flower girls and ring bearer, our grand total comes to—38! Fun times! While most would be ready to call the whole thing off at the thought of organizing that many people, Mark and I take it as a blessing that we are really fortunate to be surrounded by so much support.
What do you think about the size of our guest list and wedding party— “That’s it” or “Are you crazy?”
*The photographs of the candle, chord and veil have been graciously given to me for use in this post by long time friends of ours, Billy and Lailanie. Thank you!
Tags: blogger search, bride again, filipino, religion, wedding party
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Canada Flower: Thanks for the comment! It’s very important for Mark and I to keep the traditions that have been handed down through our families. Incorporating those into Canadian traditions means that we’re celebrating both our heritages: Filipino and Canadian. As for the significance of nine.. I say a minimum of nine that is added to the Roman Catholic Ceremony: A pair of candle sponsors, a pair of veil sponsors, a pair of cord sponsors, a pair of principal sponsors and a coin bearer. Sometimes there are more than nine :).
It’s fascinating to see the rich Filipino wedding traditions incorporated into the Canadian style. I guess we don’t have that much of a cultural difference after all. It’s also very curious why it should always be nine.
Liz,
Thank you so much for your compliments! I’ve always wanted to write for a living however, the opportunity just never presented itself – one day perhaps. I apologize as I was going to introduce myself at the Wedding Show when we’d passed by your booth but the shy person in me prevented me from doing so.
Emily and I are both really excited and blessed at this opportunity, we’ve actually gone for lunch a few weeks ago so I know she’s as thrilled as I am. We should all do a lunch date one time, I’d sure love to meet you!
If there is anything that I can do to help, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Have a wonderful day!
- Judith
Hi Judith! You are an excellent writer! You should do it for a living!I just wanted to say how proud I am that TWO Manitoba brides were chosen to “blog” out of seven chosen across Canada. I am the Associate Publisher of Weddingbells in Manitoba. All the best with the wedding planning…I’ll be enjoying each and every blog! -Liz
Lynn: I’ve gotten so many mixed reactions here and at work it’s just interesting to see the reactions on peoples’ faces :). OOo.. I will definitely let you know if we ever need anything from VA. Thanks for the offer, you’re the bestest!
Carrie: I know it makes for a really big wedding party but I wouldn’t have it any other way considering everyone in our wedding party are people we are very close to. The more posts I write the more excited I become.. wouldn’t you agree?
Hi Judith!
I went to a Filipino wedding this summer and its nice to read your explanations on all the traditions. I think you should have all the people you want in the wedding party! It think its great that there are so many roles for people to fill. Good luck!
Doesn’t seem that big to me, I look at it as the more the merrier! Yours is pretty average to the weddings down here! Loving the blog!! If there is anything I can do down her in VA let me know!!!
Mai: Thanks so much! There were more Filipino traditions that we’ll be incorporating at the reception but I couldn’t fit all of that in to this post. Will you be doing anything traditional for yours?
Jessyca: Reverse dilemma I suppose then hey? he he. I’m just happy that we’ll be celebrating our ceremony where I’ve dreamed about all my life – everything else is just icing on the cake!!
Everyone is so supportive and that brings me so much joy! Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read my posts and an even BIGGER thank you for those that leave behind a comment.
CHEERS!! xoxo
Wow! I’m having trouble reaching 100! That’s great, I think it will be beautiful, and very neat to hear about different traditions, sounds like a beautiful ceremony!
Love your post Judith! I’m glad you’re incorporating so many of your Filipino traditions. It will make for a beautiful and memorable ceremony!
As for the size of your wedding party and guest list, I say “go for it!”
Mags: Thanks so much beautiful! Many married women love to tell me their planning experiences and it’s always varied: half had a wonderful time and miss that it’s over and the other half couldn’t deal with the stress. While it is stressful at times to think of what needs to be done and in what time frame, I am LOVING every second of it. I try not to take any of it for granted considering what it took for Mark and I get here – we’re so blessed. Hope you keep reading… Love ya! xoxo
Jerry: You are so welcome! Again, I apologize :). You are so generous to offer us a certificate and I definitely will be contacting you! Keep up the great work. (ps. I’m a huge photography lover so I enjoy ‘stalking’ photographers blogs – including yours :p)
Thanks for the comments everyone – they truly make me smile :)
<3 Judith <3
Thanks Judith for adding the “Photography courtesy of Jerry Vergel”. Greatly appreciate it. Planning a wedding could be stressful but with the support and help of all your friends and family I’m sure it’ll be ‘smooth sailing’. Oh yeah, if you guys are planning on having a social, contact me for auction price donation as the date gets closer. I can provide you a free portrait session certificate to use for your auction prize or door prize.
Loving your blog Judith – you keep on writing, and I’ll keep on reading! =) I think the whole wedding planning thing is soooo fascinating. Glad you’re taking it all in stride!
P.S. Although a 300+ guest list does seem slightly intimidating, take it as a reminder (albeit expensive reminder!) of how many loved ones you, Mark, July and your families have. A blessing in somewhat of a disguise! xoxo
Xel: Hi dear! Thank you for the wonderful comments! Oh wow, you and Phon HAVE been engaged for a while now and no date yet?? OOo.. I guess that would be difficult what with the different cultures – I’d love to hear about it once you get the ball rolling. I love watching/hearing/reading about different cultures’ wedding traditions – it’s so neat! You’re such a sweet heart – you will look amazingly beautiful on your wedding day and I’m sure it’ll be couture… I can’t wait to see pictures. You’re so trendy that I know your wedding’ll be very unique. We’ll have to do coffee and catch up sometime soon. Just message me when you’re free. xoxo
helllo my love!
I just came across this on FB and I am loving your blog babe!! I am with you on small and intimate weddings, but you are soo right about a big wedding entourage for filipinos haha. Me and Phon have been engaged now for over a year and we haven’t set out a date yet, because the small wedding ain’t happening..ughh and its so hard to do the filipino roman catholic wedding arrangements when my other half is not filipino and they have their own traditional laos wedding set up going on too..oyyy I just wish it would be that easy. =(
anyway I don’t know if I mentioned it but congrats on your ENGAGEMENT!!!! your going to be one of the most beautiful bride, I don’t think I’ve seen the ring yet? how was the proposal?? lol…ok I will get back to yah. will chat more about the wedding stuff, hahaha until then keep in touch. xoxo
Bunso: You had me LITERALLY laughing out loud. First of all – 300 is pretty good consider some of the sizes of other Filipino weddings so *stick my tongue out at you*. Secondly – my wedding cake will NOT be packed up before it’s cut into by Mark and I – thanks for volunteering to stand guard of the cake that evening, you’re awesome! The other fun Filipino traditions will be in another post (thanks for ruining the surprise jerk face) and I DEFINITELY will be dancing to ALL the Todo Todo’s. And what’s with you and wanting me to smile big – you know how I feel about that – but just for you, I will post my most slivered eye, goofy smile in a future post. Love you jerk face! <3
Jessica: Thank you for feeling my frustration on this one :p. It’ll be difficult but we’ll pull it off. How? Two words: Planning and Frugality. Mark and I are fortunate enough to have decent paying jobs and we pay for what we can when we can. We are also blessed that our entourage is made up of our closest friends and family so some of them have already volunteered to help with our numerous craft projects (I love them all because I didn’t even have to ask): assembly of the invitations, creation of our decorations and other DIY projects. Mark and I decided ahead of time what was important to have and what we could cut corners on. I keep an eye on sale items and I’ll be purchasing things on a regular basis. This helps quite a bit as we do have bills and financial responsibilities as well. In the end, I have no worries because I know if we take baby steps to get there, we’ll get there. Just like everything in life right? Hope that helps answer your question, there’s no magic answer because I’m just an average mom making ends meet with an awesome fiancé who is intent on giving me a dream wedding (though I would’ve been happy with just about anything). Congratulations on your marriage and I’m sure regardless of the size, you had a beautiful wedding that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
Heather: Thanks!! I’m excited to see how your wedding is going to unfold as well. You have some really neat ideas that I’m looking forward to reading about.
Sounds like a lot of fun!
It’s cool to hear about all the traditions you’ll be incorporating!
i never understand how people pay for weddings this big- we had to have a small wedding not through choice but because neither of us were making more than $35k, and between living expenses and bills and buying invitations and everything else to do with the wedding, we coldn’t afford to have a big one. and I know thats the case for a lot of couples. how are you planning to pay for all those people? especially buying thank-you gifts for your 38-strong entourage as well as drinks and food. must be nice to be able to do that!
My sister was thinking of some fantastic, impossible dream if she thought that a Filipino Wedding that was not ridiculously large and shamelessly loud was possible. Not to mention all of the extra (Filipino) cake that would be needed for aunties to take home BEFORE the cake is cut, shoes that would be loaded with coins for the whole day(and the wonderful aftermath of bunions), stripping of the groom, and at least five playings of Todo Todo.
Only one way out dear sister – play it my way: single for as long as possible :)… or hiding a common law without tax benefits… that’s fun too.
Love you much and good luck!
PS: What’s with your smile? Show off your Asian heritage! More chinky please.
Thank you Lai! The pictures Jerry took at your wedding really enhanced this post – you were stunning that day! Billy was ah-ight.. haha.. Oh my goodness.. that’s what I’m not looking forward to.. narrowing the guest list down :(.
Many, many thanks again my dear! <3
You’re welcome Judith! (Jerry thanks again for capturing our wedding, it brings back so many wonderful memories!)
I love reading your blogs! It reminds me of all the planning and DYI projects we too did for our wedding. Narrowing your guest list will definitely be a challenge, good luck!
Thanks Herman! I suppose mine is starting at the low end in comparison to East Indian weddings hey? Thanks for all your guys’ support – means the world to me. xoxo
A guest list of 300 is not bad. Most east-indian wedding start at 300 and go up to 1000 guests! Cant wait to read more!
Thanks for the comment Emily. I personally love reading other wedding traditions so I thought what a great opportunity to write about Filipino traditions.
What an interesting story – thanks for sharing all the traditions behind the big wedding parties! It’s going to make for some wonderful photos :)
Jerry: Thanks so much! I will definitely get that fixed – my sincerest apologies. I was sure that mine was average, but many of my coworkers were freaking out – at least now, reading your comment and my blog, they know why our weddings get huge. Love your work by the way and I wish you, your company and your family an amazingly successful 2010.
I enjoy this post. Thirty plus in wedding party is average in Filipino weddings. I’ve photograph so many and my biggest wedding party I’ve covered had 60 people at their head table, including godparents. They had 500 guests on top of this. Btw, it would be nice to get a credit for my photos. I was Billy and Lailanie’s photographer. =)