Wedding Bells Blog
dear belle
Plus-one Problems
Q: The guest list for my wedding exceeds 350 people. Both my fiancé and I agreed that friends and family members would not be allowed to bring a guest unless they had been dating them for a long time. We were very specific on the invitations about who could bring guests and who could not. Now that we are getting our replies back some people are taking it upon themselves to invite whoever they want even though it did not specify on the invitation that they were allowed to bring a guest. Now our list has grown even more, and I just don’t know where to draw the line. Once the final numbers are said and done, can I uninvite the “uninvited” guests?
A: It’s hard to stand your ground as a bride-to-be. Often brides feel pressure to invite people who were not initially on the guest list. However, when all is said and done, who is invited and not invited is up to the bride and groom. It sounds like you followed proper invitation etiquette, inviting people specifically by name and indicating no additional guests are expected, and so the breach of etiquette is not on your behalf but on behalf of the guests who took it upon themselves to invite others. Etiquette expert Peggy Post explains that while standing your ground when it comes to additional guests may be difficult, it’s your wedding and therefore your decision.
Do you have a wedding dilemma? Email your questions to feedback@weddingbells.ca.
Tags: etiquette, guest list, invitations, uninvite
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