Wedding Bells Blog
dear belle
Registry Rules
Q: My fiancé and I are on our second marriage. We are planning a destination wedding in Jamaica, with only our grown children in attendance. We would like to know if it is all right to send out announcements, rather than invitations, with a registry website. Is this tacky? How can we word this? Thank you! I need help!
A: Typically, couples only receive wedding gifts from guests who attend the ceremony and/or reception. Etiquette authority Peggy Post warns that sending out registry information in wedding invitations, let alone with wedding announcements, will likely offend some people. Though wedding gifts are ubiquitous among wedding guests, it’s still important that the wedding be about celebrating your love, rather than amassing presents. This is why a wedding announcement or even an invitation should not include registry information. Post suggests informing wedding guests about the registry mainly by word of mouth: tell your close family and wedding party about the registry and most people will know to ask where you’re registered when shopping for a gift. As for registering without inviting many guests, you should consider having a bridal shower. Having a shower is a great way to both announce your wedding and register for gifts. Post explains that despite it being poor form to include registry information with a wedding invitation/announcement, “it’s okay for shower hosts to include your registry information in invitations, because gift giving is the highlight of a shower.” Furthermore, a shower can be as small or big as you want, and it is perfectly appropriate for an encore bride.
Have a question for Belle? Email her at feedback@weddingbells.ca
Tags: announcement, bridal shower, children, destination wedding, etiquette, gifts, registry, second marriage
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