When wording your wedding invitations, it’s easy to get excited—and you should. This is your big day and you’ve put a lot of time and effort into planning it the way you want. Likely, you’ll want to clearly convey this message to your guests. As with other aspects of a wedding, faux pas can happen when wording your invitations. Here are three common invite blunders, and how you can avoid making them.
“No Boxed Gifts”
We know, we know. You already have everything you need and would prefer gifts of money instead. But the truth is, registry info of any type should be left off the invites. A gift of any kind is just that—a gift; and your guests should give them out of their own kindness. Any registry information on your card could imply that a gift is an obligation required of the guest.
If you’re still hoping for gifts of money rather than household goods, have your wedding party casually spread the word. If you do have a gift registry, consider setting up a personal website and give the address at the bottom of your invitations. It can serve as an information hub, not just to your registry, but to all elements of your wedding.
“No Children”
You’ve decided to have an adults-only affair and that’s ok; you shouldn’t feel guilty about this decision. But in order to avoid any hurt feelings, you have to get the wording right. Traditionally, only those who are mentioned on the invite are invited to the wedding, so don’t mention the children. Another way to avoid any confusion is to fill out the RSVP card naming those you are inviting, before sending out the invite. And if you do have a guest send a reply card that includes little ones, a simple phone call should defuse the situation.
“Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family”
It’s a family affair! So include the names of all the children. Family means different things to different people and this tag could cause confusion. Everyone invited to your wedding should be properly addressed on the card. Anybody 18 and over should also receive their own invitation, even if they still live with their parents.
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Posted by Registry on July 18, 2008 at 2:24 p.m.
I always thought registering for gifts itself was tacky, but now because some people are so hard to shop for, I see that they can really offer a hand in those sticky situations. My fiance' and I have decided to register but we are not expecting people to stay with only register ideas. If they find something else they think we would love that would be great! It adds to the element of surprise and you can be truly grateful instead of expecting certain gifts. Its a lot more personal if people buy things that they think you would like :) Im looking forward to opening gifts and seeing the great (and possibly wacky) things people think we might enjoy. In the end, whether you get gifts or not, think of it like you are giving all the guests a gift by asking them to share in your special day. And if they give you a gift you absolutely hate, still send a thank you note. Its the polite thing to do.
Posted by Melissa on October 10, 2008 at 6:03 a.m.
How do you word it if you do not want gifts. My fiance does not want any gifts and wants me to put it on the invite. I think we can spread the word by casually telling our guests (our wedding has a guest list of 25 people).
Posted by Cindy on August 24, 2009 at 1:39 p.m.
The whole invite with names does not work. I've sent out invites with tag lines for Mr & Mrs. ABC or ABC + guest. I ended up with 15 kids and a whole bunch of people I did not intend on inviting. We tried to keep it small, so we got a place that was a certain size. So instead of having all the people we were meaning to invite, we end up with kids all under 5 years of age all taking up space that could have been one of our friends. It's not that easy to go to people and tell them, hey! we don't want your kids.
Posted by Charity gifts on August 24, 2009 at 1:41 p.m.
When people ask if they can give money to charity in our name, how do we convey to them that we want the cash gift without sounding crash! If they cannot afford much I am fine with it, but I'd rather have the money to help with the expenses of the wedding than to have them given to charity. I'll give to charity when I am ready to give.
Posted by Confused on August 24, 2009 at 6:56 p.m.
I don't see why you can't use "and family"! We have some guests with 6 kids... there is no way to name all 6 on the invite.
Posted by untraditional on August 25, 2009 at 10:23 a.m.
I'd went with So and So family. That's how I write my Christmas cards too. I've realized, no matter how much you try not to offend, you'll end up offending a bunch of overly people. There is no way around it, you cannot satisfy everyone unless you have a tiny wedding.
Posted by Cynthia on August 28, 2009 at 9:50 p.m.
Culturally, we are supposed to send invitations to households. In other words, a 25 year old living at home is sent the same invite as his/her parents. However, said 25 year old might think otherwise, because he/she grew up here. How do we address that?
Posted by Diana on September 9, 2009 at 2:39 p.m.
If I were to give cash for a wedding. How much is enough and how much would be cheap?
Posted by amanda on October 15, 2009 at 10:16 a.m.
I sent out a very early save the date 'package'. They were really well designed, I did this because the venue is one to two hours away from most guests, and a majority of the guests are out of province. The venue is also in a high tourist area, which meant that hotels would be booked up rather quickly, and also there is a huge city wide fundraiser going on that weekend. So, I wanted the save the dates to set the mood for the day, give them a list of hotel information and let them know if they are thinking of booking a hotel to it sooner than later (in more formal words of course), we also included a page about tentative planning of the day, the ceremony, cocktails and recieption would all be held at the same venue, and they wouldnt' have to worry about multiple locations. This is where we stated that there would be a cash bar, and "We would please ask that only adults over the age of 16 are in attendance to our special day. Thank you for respecting our wishes". Stating what we 'do' want, instead of what we 'don't' seemed the proper way to structure the wording. We put the bar information in because a lot of people end up going to weddings thinking 'open bar' and if they would like to drink and don't have planned money, then they are sol, we're not big drinkers and don't want alcohol to run the event for us. We also put in for an 'early bird' reply, if they wanted too, and that formal invitations would follow closer to the wedding date.
So far the save the date package has been a rave review, people loved the organization, the information and all a year before the date so they could plan ahead.
I don't think in this day and age stating what you really need, and want is frowned upon, infact greatly appreciated by the invitees.
Posted by Bee Gonzalis on February 6, 2010 at 3:43 a.m.
if one was to provide a babysitting service for during the wedding service and allow for the child to be present for the reception. would that be acceptable. i would prefer not to hear screaming and crying children during the wedding service. or have them being a disuptive factor for my other guest for the wedding..
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