Planning

Budget

When A Saver Weds a Spender

How to cope when your love match has a different style. By Paul Barton and Barry Spilchuk

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For the vast majority of people, your value and belief systems are largely formed by the time you reach age 12. In view of that, consider what a tremendous influence your parents had on how you and your partner think and react with money today. The main behaviours or characteristics people possess can be categorized as follows:

Frugal or Cautious

• You read all the sale flyers that come to your home.

• You clip and use savings coupons.

• You tend to fix appliances or little things around the home before calling a repairman.

• You don't mind buying second hand items.

• You shop for value and usually compare products for best prices.

• You are nervous about owing money.

• You do not like to take unnecessary risks when investing money.

Spendthrift

• You make frequent trips to the bank or bank machine.

• You never balance your check book.

• You normally do not know how much money is in your bank account.

• You often buy things on impulse, regardless if you need the item or not.

• It bothers you when you see other people with material items you think you need.

• You are a big tipper at restaurants.

• You have all the latest appliances and technology gadgets.

• Your closets, and dresser drawers, are full of clothes you never wear.

Avoider

• You are uncomfortable making decisions involving money.

• You are unwilling to keep track of your check book.

• You procrastinate getting your personal finances organized.

• You tend to not disclose all financial details on credit applications.

• You are careless with money.

• You have no desire to learn more about how to improve your financial situation.

• You are not willing to talk to experts about your financial situation.

Accumulator

• You feel more comfortable when you have a lot of money available.

• You are obsessed with money.

• You tend to be a workaholic and are driven to accumulate more money.

• You worry about money.

• You may flaunt your wealth.

• Your conversations center around money.

• You tend to check your investments often, perhaps daily or several times a day.

Consider the above points and put a check beside each that applies to you. Have your partner do the same. It’s possible you may have some traits from more than one category, but usually the category with the most “check-marks” would suggest that category is most dominant for you.

Much of your conscious and subconscious thinking and acting about money stems from the dominant behaviour you follow. If you want to improve communication about money in your marriage, start by trying to understand the dominant behaviour of the person you see every day in the mirror! Accept that this behaviour is yours. At the same time, understand which dominant behaviour your partner has, and accept it. From this basic starting point, your awareness level increases and you can learn how to accommodate each other’s behaviours, instead of trying to change them.

Paul Barton has worked in the financial services industry since 1977 and has helped hundreds of couples with their financial investments. Barry Spilchuk is the co-author of the New York Times best-selling book, A Cup of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Together they are the creators of Let’s Talk about Money, a proven program that is designed to help families learn how to talk to each other about the subject of money.