They're the men and maids of wedding tradition, but when it comes to the modern wedding party there are no rules other than their roles you give them.
The "Best Man" role can be assigned to a woman, while the "Maid of Honour" job can be filled by a man—in either case they'll both appreciate the title of "Honour Attendant" and you can review their roles accordingly.
Traditionally, it has been said there should be one usher (male or female) assigned for every 50 guests invited to your wedding. But these days, your wedding party can be as large or as small as you desire.
Determine early on whom you want in your wedding party. Ask them as soon as you can. If anyone declines—due to schedule conflicts, financial restrictions (costs for things such as tuxedos and bridesmaids' attire are traditionally borne by the wedding party) or other factors—be understanding. Don't despair and have a replacement in mind. You can always suggest someone take part in the ceremony another less demanding way, such as performing a reading at the ceremony.
Here's a list of some of the traditional duties to use as a starting point with your own attendants:
Maid/Matron of Honour
- First and foremost: emotional support for the bride-to-be—the ties that bind the female friendship.
- Helping the bride shop for the wedding—the second tie that binds the female friendship!
- Assist the bride with wedding planning.
- Pay for their own attire.
- Help with invitations, recording wedding gifts, and addressing envelopes.
- Arrange & coordinate bridal showers.
- Help the bride dress for the ceremony—arrange train and veil through-out the day;
- Hold the bride's wedding bouquet while she says "I Do";
- Sign the marriage license as a witness and welcome guests in the receiving line.
Bridesmaids
- First and foremost—emotional support.
- Assist the maid/matron of honour with wedding related tasks.
- Pay for their own attire.
- Help organize bridal showers.
- Help decorate the hall (if applicable).
Best Man
- Organize the bachelor party.
- Pay for his own wedding day attire.
- In many cases, drives the groom to the ceremony.
- Pick up the formalwear on wedding day.
- Sign the marriage license as a witness.
- Hand over envelope payments to applicable vendors on wedding day.
- Participate in the receiving line (if desired).
- Make an absolutely stellar speech at the reception (no pressure!).
- Return the groom's attire the day after wedding.
Ushers
- Pay for their own wedding day attire.
- Help best man with the bachelor party.
- Help decorate the hall (if applicable).
- Wash and decorate the cars (if applicable).
- Arrive early at wedding location to assist with set-up.
- Escort guests to their seats at the ceremony.
- See that all gifts are moved to a secure location after the reception.
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