Planning

Reception

Music in the House

Making the musical selections for a wedding ceremony in a house of worship is not just a matter of personal tastes.

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It's a familiar musical refrain from movies and other popular culture: the graceful bride glides up the aisle to the chorus of "Here Comes the Bride" (actually called "Bridal Chorus" from Wagner's opera Lohengrin).

In reality, it's just one example of a piece of secular music that would actually be prohibited from many traditional religious services, where musical selections are usually made in collaboration with a marriage officiant or a religious music director.

While many houses of worship are fairly flexible in accommodating the wishes of the bride and groom, choosing the music for any kind of religious ceremony is based on more than just your personal taste.

Weddingbells has compiled some tips on how to approach getting the sound of music into your ceremony.

What you should do:

• Contact the person in charge of music at your chosen house of worship. For Christian or Jewish ceremonies, this may be the music director or the organist. Schedule an appointment to discuss your musical preferences, get advice about the timing of each piece and what's appropriate for each part of the proceedings.
  
  
• Ask whether there are rules about what kind of music can be played. Many houses of worship do not allow any type of secular, or non-sacred, music to be played during a religious ceremony, including a wedding.
  
  
• If you want a contemporary piece of secular music or "your song," you may find you'll have to save it for the reception, but don't be disappointed.

What to Expect:

For a Protestant ceremony: Some individual churches allow secular music during the ceremony, though you still need to consult your officiant regarding guidelines. In more traditional churches, the congregation's organist is usually available to perform at weddings. If you plan to hire guest musicians or vocalists, ask whether the church has any policies regarding outside musicians.

For a Roman Catholic Ceremony: Most Catholic churches allow only sacred music during the ceremony. The processional, as people enter the Church, may be much longer than in Protestant services if the cross bearer, altar servers and scripture readers are included in the processional party. Catholic services are generally longer than Protestant services, so expect to fill a large musical selection.

For a Jewish ceremony: Secular music is usually allowed in Reform and Conservative Jewish weddings. The engaged couple can choose all the music, though the cantor traditionally chants the Seven Blessings and may perform other solos. Most couples choose a mix of contemporary, traditional and classical music. In an Orthodox ceremony, the music is traditional and usually performed with only one instrument (violin or flute). Your rabbi can advise you on the synagogue's policy and music choices.

For an Eastern Orthodox ceremony: Traditionally the only music allowed is sung by an unaccompanied choir. However, organs and other instruments are becoming more acceptable.

For a Muslim ceremony: Many sects have no music performed during the ceremony. Check with your officiant.

For a Hindu ceremony: Music is an integral part of the ceremony, that can include vocals as well as drums, string instruments and wind instruments. This is often dictated by the type of ceremony, so personalization of the selection may be restricted. Check with your officiant.

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