Young children often serve in formal or semi-formal wedding ceremonies as flowergirls and ringbearers. If you don’t have any children of your own, you can ask other children that you know well (relatives, perhaps, or the children of close family friends), asking permission of the parents first, of course. If you don’t know any children very well, it’s best not to try to find some just for the sake of appearances at the wedding; things might not go well if children are asked to join in a ceremony in which all of the participants are strangers.
Flowergirl
A flowergirl is usually between the ages of four and seven. The flowergirl carries a basket of flowers or a small bouquet or nosegay. Though local customs may vary, the flowergirl’s place in the procession is usually the same for both Christian and Jewish ceremonies, appearing after the bridesmaids, just ahead of the bride. The flowergirl usually wears a dress that bears some similarity to the other bridal attendants’ dresses, but she still ought to look like a little girl.
Ringbearer
The ringbearer’s function in the wedding ceremony is to carry a small pillow bearing the ring or rings to the altar. Some brides leave nothing to chance and give the ringbearer only decorative rings to carry while the best man carries the real thing. Otherwise, a satin or lace pillow with ribbons to tie to the rings should ensure that they arrive safely at the altar; the best man can simply undo the ribbons at the right moment in the ceremony.
Age factor
Every bride’s greatest fear is that something will go wrong in the ceremony and, with young children present, the chances of a mishap certainly increase. An appropriate age for the child attendants is usually between the ages of four and seven. Children younger than four are cute, certainly, but can’t remember directions well and baulk at the sight of crowds.
Take precautions
The wise bride always lets the children know exactly what is expected of them and speaks to them in a relaxed manner; if they sense that you have confidence in them, they will usually respond well. Just to be on the safe side though, plan to seat the parents of your young attendants at the end of a pew, where the adults will be quite visible, and let the children know where their parents will be.
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