Seating for your wedding reception is one of the stickiest challenges to get your head around—remember Monica with her red and blue stick pins planning her reception seating with Chandler during an episode of Friends? However, before you get to the rest of the crowd, there’s the head table to sort out. We’ve listed common questions and Weddingbells’ solutions to seating dilemmas, guaranteed to solve any problems your maid of honour, mother or even caterer may throw at you.
Q: Who sits at the head table?
A: You and your groom traditionally sit at the centre of the head table, with you sitting on the right of your mister, facing your guests, while the other guys and gals of your bridal party sit alternately on either side of you both. Depending on your personal needs, the seating order traditionally resembles one of the following patterns.
Scenario A gives precedence to the members of your bridal party. Traditionally, their spouses or dates do not sit at this head table, but this, as with all things about the party you’re planning, is entirely your call. If you choose to go with Scenario A, your parents would sit at an honoured table nearby, along with the officiant, his wife or her husband, and a few other family members or close friends.
Scenario B incorporates both sets of parents under “typical” family circumstances into the head table. If, however, you or your groom have any new partnerships, remarriages, divorces, separations, or even family frosts and frictions happening, you might want to choose Scenario A, with one or two honoured tables to give guests some distance.
Q: Where should the table go? How do we set it up?
A: The positioning of the head table often depends on the reception venue facilities or the size of the wedding party. The traditional rectangular head table is placed at the front of the dining room, facing the guests. This setup has become the norm, probably more because of its practicality than anything else. If you have opted to include bridesmaids, ushers and their respective spouses and dates, you might have to rethink your ideal configuration. Consider a U-shaped table (again, at the front or side, facing out towards guests), or an L-shaped table in the corner. In both cases, the members of your wedding party would sit along one side only (and not at the ends), so as not to obstruct guests’ view of you, the happy couple!
Q: My wedding party is huge—nine groomsmen and just as many bridesmaids. Where do I seat everyone?
A: If you have a particularly large wedding party, consider a two-tiered approach to the traditional head table. Set up two parallel tables, placing the rear one on a riser. You and your groom should sit front and centre at the lower table, with your wedding party sitting alternately guy, girl, in the remaining seats.
Q: Do we have to have a head table? I’m shy and hate the idea of having everyone watching me eat.
A: Another head table option is a circular or square table in the middle of the room. This approach works best when all the tables are small and are the same size, seating about six people. This intimate arrangement allows you to be surrounded by your friends and family, and it can alleviate the problem of particularly sticky family relationships.
Some couples omit a formal table altogether, preferring instead to wander about and mingle with their guests. This is perfectly acceptable, but there should always be a designated table for the bridal party where they can set their belongings, eat dinner, or just sit and relax.
Head Table Head Count?
We asked, you answered. Here’s what a recent weddingbells.ca poll revealed about how head tables today are being configured.
Bride, groom & bridal party—61.75%
Just bride & groom—6.07%
Bride & groom with parents—4.04%
Other—28.14%
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