Planning

Wedding Party

Maid of Honour Tasks

As the maid or matron of honour, there's lots you can do to help the bride before and during her day.

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Before the Big Day

A big part of your job is to lend moral support to the bride-to-be in the months and weeks before the wedding. Before the wedding day, the honour attendant is chiefly responsible for lending the bride as much moral support as she (or he) can muster. This is often best supplied with generous offers to help in any way possible.

Here are some of the ways you can do this:

• Help with the addressing of invitations.
• It's optional, but you could host a shower for the bride or co-host a "Stag and Doe" party to include the best man--particularly if no one else is planning one. Alternatively, lend a hand to those who are hosting showers, by helping to gather the guest list or acting as a liaison with the busy bride-to-be.
• Attend all pre-wedding parties, including showers (although you are not obligated to bring a gift to more than one shower) and the rehearsal dinner, if any.
• At showers, help to keep a record of the gifts for the bride to use when writing her thank-you notes.
• Help select the outfits for the bridal party.
• Liaise with the bridesmaids regarding their dresses and accessories. Organize any fitting appointments and make sure the dresses are correctly tailored, that adjustments are made on time, and that the gowns are delivered to the right place(s).
• As the wedding day draws near, make sure the bridesmaids have adequate transportation to get them to the wedding site on time.

Ceremony Day Duties

After weeks of helping the bride with the wedding preparations, your role as maid of honour takes on special significance when the wedding day arrives.
Besides standing up as her main honour attendant during the ceremony, here's a practical guide to your traditional duties that start when the day begins:

• Arrive early at the bride's home (or wherever the bride is planning to dress) to help with the gown and any final packing for the honeymoon. Help assist the hairstylist and/or makeup artist and the photographer, and, if things start to get out of hand, to calm nerves, direct traffic, and pour coffee.
• Make sure you get the groom's ring from the bride.
• Since it is traditional for the bride to arrive at the wedding site with her father, the honour attendant can opt to travel alone, or with the bridesmaids and/or the mother of the bride.
• You may offer to take the bridesmaids' flowers to the wedding site and ensure that each maid receives her bouquet.
• Once at the site, you can help to make final adjustments to the bride's train and veil.
• During the ring exchange, the honour attendant holds the bride's bouquet and gives the groom's wedding ring to the bride. (If the bride has chosen two honour attendants, this moment is a great opportunity to both be involved: one of you may be in charge of the ring while the other holds the bride's bouquet.)
• At the reception, the honour attendant stands to the left of the groom in the receiving line with a constant smile and an endless supply of upbeat comments.
• You may offer a toast to the newlyweds after the dinner if you have made arrangements to do so with the master of ceremonies (usually the best man).
• Once the dancing begins, the honour attendant should try to mingle among the guests and meet as many of them as possible.
• You may be asked to ensure that all the guests have signed the guest book.
• At a cue from the bride, you should slip away to help her change into her going-away outfit. You should then take care of the bridal gown, delivering it wherever it needs to go for safekeeping.

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