While the memory of a deceased loved one may never be far from your emotions on your wedding day, traditional etiquette suggests that every attempt be made to keep this occasion joyous for you and your guests to celebrate. In many cultures, even the mention of death at a wedding is considered to bring bad luck.
There are many ways to honour the memory of your loved one in private and meaningful ways that let you feel you've shared the moment spiritually, without making guests uncomfortable or turning this into a sad occasion. Any gesture or symbol you decide on should be expressed discreetly; those who know you best will understand its significance and be there to support you. Idea's may include:
At the Ceremony:
- Your officiator may be able to suggest a prayer, either silent or said by everyone.
- A special candle could be lit, or you could choose a special song or reading.
- Include a poem or verse on the wedding program that symbolically refers to family or friendship.
Floral Symbols:
- Create a special bouquet to be placed as a silent tribute.
- Place a single bloom of the deceased's favourite flower in the bridal bouquet, or adorn it with something symbolic to you such as a small white butterfly (representing everlasting life).
Formal Honour:
- Some couples adopt the custom of stopping at the cemetery on the way from the ceremony to lay the bridal bouquet on the grave of a deceased parent. This should be a very personal decision kept between you and your new spouse, and it should not include members of the wedding party.
A Moment of Remembrance:
- If you think you can do it without getting overcome by your emotions, you could pay tribute to your loved one, briefly, during the speeches at the reception.
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